Gay Boy Thailand

How I met my boyfriend 24

I missed Chalerm. I took out the pictures I had taken of him in the park and the first time we went to Anyburi by bus. The pictures made me miss him even more. He looked so sincere in those pictures. He was not a sophisticated city type, he was a country boy and it showed in his dress and his unpretentious manners.

I missed his soft skin. Chalerm smelled good. Thai boys don’t smell much, but what little odour they have is pleasant. I even missed his cheeky tricks. He liked to blow air in my ear. I could not remain still in bed when he did that. He liked to tickle me too. But that didn’t work anymore. I was too used to him. Try tickling yourself. You can’t. That’s because you are relaxed. I was so relaxed with Chalerm now that he couldn’t tickle me either.

He was a real Thai boy and genuine. Such boys are not easy to find. How did I find him? Wrong question - he found me. I had only lived in Thailand for six days when I met him. Was that random or fate? I had to wonder.

You sentimental fool, I told myself. He is just a boy. What makes you think he is ready for a long-term relationship? You are ready, but you are middle aged. What if it was just a fling, a way for him to have an exciting time with a foreigner for a few months while he was in Bangkok? You can’t expect a youngster like him to be stable, even in the unlikely case that he is interested in someone your age.

I called Chalerm every day on his mobile. But either it was turned off or nobody answered. After a week of this I thought I had to be tactical. As long as he saw I rang every day he could be confident I was waiting for him. Hard as it was to resist, it was better not to call. That would make him think.

After two weeks of not hearing from him I was beginning to think he would not be back. A friend urged me to seek other entertainment.

- You should go out and be decadent, said my friend. - Get some boy from Dj Station. Bonk him. Live a little!

- A boy off the street isn’t the same as Chalerm. I am still attuned to him. Besides, it would feel like cheating. Chalerm is too nice. I can’t cheat on him.

- Nice? He is putting you through hell for no reason.

- I know. But it would still hurt Chalerm terribly if I fooled around with someone else. I can’t do that to him.

- Sure you can.

- He is immature. He doesn’t see the consequences of what he is doing. I have to be the responsible adult even if he doesn’t deserve it.

- How long will you sit in your monastery and wait for him?

- I guess I have to give up after a while. If I haven’t heard from him in three weeks I will consider myself a free man.

One should think that Chalerm had overheard this conversation. After two weeks and six days of silence he rang my doorbell. He said nothing but walked sternly past me. He went to the bedroom and collected his things. Then he walked out, still without a word, and slammed the door behind him.

If that’s how he wants it, I thought and locked the door in a loud way and put the chain on. I made sure Chalerm could hear it from the corridor.

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How I met my boyfriend 23

I cut my visit to Anyburi short and drove back to Bangkok. I wondered what I had done wrong. Was my relationship with Chalerm over? What had changed? What had become of the happy Thai boy I had fallen for? 

In Bangkok I gave the Honda back to Avis, still unscratched. Now I really deserved that t-shirt.  

I called my friends to seek their advice.  

First I spoke to Mr. Canada, who had recently moved to Thailand to teach English. Mr. Canada recommended I should use discipline similar to what he applied to keep order in the classroom.

- If Chalerm misbehaves, give him a warning. If he doesn’t improve, give him time out. If the problem persists, reduce his allowance.

- He doesn’t get any allowance. I give the money to the grandmother.

- Maybe you should look for a new boyfriend. There are better deals out there than this.

- I don’t know. I am too fond of him.

- That’s no good if he treats you like this.

- You are right. Anyway, how is it going with your soi 4 waiter?

- He is nice. But I have a feeling he is not sincere.

- Why?

- I discovered he has wife and children.  

I could count on Farang D to have opinions about most things, including my love life.

- Be careful what you wish for, said Farang D. - You wanted a young Thai boyfriend? Now you have one. He is just 18. He is bound to be childish and immature. Golf is 26 and yesterday at Cafe di Roma he gave me the silent treatment. It was like having dinner with a block of ice. After four years I still can’t feel secure in this relationship.

- I am sorry to hear that.

- His brother Ball is 28. He is having this pathetic affair with a Dutch sex tourist. The Dutchman is screwing every moneyboy in Bangkok. Last week Ball was crying outside the Dutch embassy because they had turned down his visa application. I wanted to slap him. Ball is a doctor. He makes decisions about life and death every day in the hospital. But take off his white coat and he behaves like a lovesick kid.

- This doesn’t sound promising.

- It isn’t. But maybe Chalerm will grow up one day.

- That can take a while.

- Until then you must expect him to be moody and make the best out of the situation. If you think he is worth it. 

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How I met my boyfriend 22

Chalerm’s grandmother was in the house, sitting on the floor watching television. I had not met the grandmother before. Like her husband she had few teeth but she was stronger and more fit than he was. She had an air of authority. She was the head of the clan. The grandmother had a nine-year-old girl she looked after. This was one of Samart’s cousins who stayed with her grandparents while the parents were away working.

A new hotel had opened in Anyburi and we no longer needed to stay in the bordello with the karaoke ladies.

It was Saturday evening and the main road in Anyburi had youths racing motorbikes, they lay flat over their bikes and shouted to each other. Pick-up trucks with drunk drivers were also out. The once-a-week night market was on in a field and traffic was busy. I was glad I could park the rental car still in one piece. I should be awarded a t-shirt reading “I survived driving in Thailand”.

I had noticed in the car that Chalerm was in a bad mood. I didn’t know why. Maybe he was tired of waiting for me and had made plans that had to be cancelled when I was late.

- I want go market, said Chalerm.

- You can go. I am tired and would like to rest, I said.

- Is far, said Chalerm.

- OK, I will give you money to get a tuk-tuk, I said.

- You take me, said Chalerm.

- I would rather not… I began, but Chalerm turned up the sound of the television and put his fingers in his ears.

- I am too tired and I don’t want to drive now with those drunken people out on the road, I said. It is dark now and dangerous. And this is my first day driving in Thailand.

But Chalerm didn’t hear. He got up and slammed the door as he left.

How touchy he is today, I thought. If I had known it was this important I could have driven him. But he didn’t give me the chance to change my mind. Still, the market was just a 15-minute walking distance away, maybe less. Anyburi wasn’t that big. This is a power struggle, I thought. He wants to boss me around.

I slept for a couple of hours and Chalerm had not returned when I woke. I went to the 7-Eleven, which was near the night market, but didn’t see Chalerm. Again it seemed like many of the people who were out were drunk. I didn’t know Saturday night in the countryside was this lively.

At the 7-Eleven a group of street kids were loitering outside. One of them was a teenage boy. I must have looked at him a millisecond more than I should because he followed me into the shop. He had partly unbuttoned his dirty shirt to show some skin and smiled at me. The 7-Eleven had been crowded when I arrived but suddenly there were just the street kid and I. I could tell why - he stank. The poor kid was a BO disaster and (I am not making this up) he had his own personal fly, which swarmed around him. When the boy left the shop the fly left with him.

I gave the kids 10 baht each. They grinned knowingly and seemed to hope I would take them behind the bushes for a quickie. Begging, stealing and selling themselves. That’s how street kids survive.

Chalerm was still not back at the hotel. I called his mobile but the phone was turned off. I knew he wanted me to worry but I could not help it. My mind kept producing gloomy theories about where he was and what had happened to him.

I called him several times during the night but could not get through. But at 6am he knocked on the door. I was annoyed and toyed with the idea of not letting him in and instead hand him his bag through the door. I wanted to show him that two could play this game. But I was too softhearted. He came to bed without a word and fell asleep.

At 10am he woke and wanted to go to the village. I needed more sleep. Again Chalerm got angry and again he left while slamming the door. I regretted I had not put my foot down earlier.

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How I met my boyfriend 21

I gave Chalerm a mobile phone. My farang friends joked that I had already reached the famous mobile phone stage with a Thai boy. Now we were getting serious! Chalerm had not asked for a phone, and tried to pretend he didn’t want it. I bought it for my own sake, since waiting for him to call from the pay phone in the village shop was frustrating.

I booked a rental car at Avis. I wanted to visit Chalerm again in the village and now I knew I needed my own transport if I wanted to get around. I had dreaded driving in Thailand. For a start they drove on the other side of the road. All my reflexes had to be reprogrammed. Traffic was chaotic and the rules, if they had any, were ignored.

I had tried to talk friends into giving me driving-in-Thailand lessons but nobody did. I wanted the freedom of driving my own car and the only way was to get on the road and hope for the best.

The Avis office was on Wireless road near the British embassy. I had studied the map. To avoid getting lost in Bangkok I would to go back Wireless and up Rama 4 to the entrance to the elevated pay road. Then I would stick to the pay road past the airport and to Rangsit. From Rangsit it was easy to follow the signs for Saraburi.

I must have been visibly nervous as the staff at Avis were suspicious and repeatedly asked me where I was going and what I was planning to do. Maybe they thought I wanted to steal their car and sell it in Cambodia.

They gave me a Honda Civic and the station manager followed me out to show me the car. He politely disagreed when I told him I was going back to Rama 4. That, he said, was against one-way traffic. So much for my don’t-get-lost plan.

All I could do now was to stick to the car in front of me while trying not to knock over motorbikes, hit food charts or run over dogs. Where was this? Sukhumvit, Siam Square, Payayothin road… When I saw a sign for the highway I turned and paid to enter it. I was still lost, but at least I was lost on a higher level. I was relieved when I saw signs for the airport. This was the direction I needed to go.

Outside the city traffic was less dense but the speed increased and I had to watch for suicidal truck drivers. Trying to maintain a 3-second distance to the car in front of me only resulted in cars behind met thinking I was slow and overtaking me to fill the gap. In Thailand they have a half-second rule.

After Saraburi I left the main north-south route and could enjoy less traffic and a twistier road. I looked at the hills and diagnosed them as sediments. I was driving along an ancient lake or seabed. These beautiful hills must be full of fossils, I thought.

When I had been in Chalerm’s village I had been smart and taken a picture of the road sign with the village name written in Thai. I brought this picture to show the locals and ask directions. Except that it wasn’t the name of his village, it was a sign saying the distance to somewhere else. Confusion ensued. Chalerm was on the mobile phone and spoke to locals who pointed me in one direction (mainly random, I suspect). Others would look at the road sign picture and send me in another direction (also more or less random). I could not remember how to find Chalerm’s village and spent two hours driving around in the Anyburi area.

When I finally saw the yellow water tower it was getting dark but I found Chalerm waiting for me at the bus stop. He thought I was incredibly stupid to get lost like this and said so on the phone to his friends, calling me “farang kwai”. I didn’t like that.

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How I met my boyfriend 20

I wanted to take Chalerm on a trip in return for the tour he had given me of his province. When a long weekend came up we took the bus to Hua Hin.

I chose a hotel from the Lonely Planet book and chased away the overcharging songtaew driver who was following us in the hope of getting a commission for “delivering us”.

Hua Hin was quiet in the low season. We went to the beach and Chalerm walked around with my umbrella as protection for the sun, carefully stepping over horse droppings in the sand. I was worried we would get nasty looks from farang tourists but unlike in Bangkok they didn’t seem to notice us.

Chalerm said he had been in Hua Hin once before, with his enterprising father. He had been small then and his only memory was a visit to the hospital after he had stepped on a jellyfish.

Chalerm liked to tease me by hiding and not revealing himself when I came into a room. He remained quiet under a table or behind a curtain until I suddenly sensed I wasn’t alone. The more he spooked me the better. If he could make me make involuntary sounds of surprise it was best of all. Awww! I was lucky to have a strong heart.

He also liked to take showers with me. I always had to be persuaded.

- I am too shy for this.

- Farang not shy. Only Thai people shy.

- But you want cold water. I want hot.

- Never mind. You wash me.

I was then employed as his back scrubber.

Chalerm even wanted to join me in the bathroom when I was doing my private business. He knocked on the door and wanted to come in. But I never unlocked the door. Some things I prefer to do alone.

I became suspicious when Chalerm befriended a farang who stayed at the same hotel. Chalerm disappeared for a couple of hours without saying where he went. What was he up to? The farang was an English sextourist but to my relief he had a Thai bargirl in tow. Chalerm had met the bargirl first and she let him play with her Gameboy in their room. When the boy tried to go back to their room in the evening to play more games the bargirl refused to let him in. They were busy, she told him. Chalerm came back looking sad and disappointed. He was still just a kid.

Townspeople were celebrating a Buddhist festival. Chalerm took me to the temple with the sextourist and the bargirl. The boy had taken for granted that I was a Buddhist too and was surprised when I was ignorant about the festival. He gave me a small bouquet of flowers but he could not explain in English what I was supposed to do with it. I stood in a corner of the temple grounds looking out of place while Chalerm, the bargirl and the English bloke walked three rounds around the temple.

The boy wanted to buy presents he could give his grandparents. He had looked at flower pots but not bought them. The last evening he wanted me to go back and buy them. He is getting bossy, I thought. Go here and go there and do this and do that. But when I asked why he could not go himself he pointed to his feet. The plastic sandals had worn into the skin between his toes and he bled. I went to the market for him.

We were in Hua Hin during warmest time of the year and in the afternoon we rested in the hotel room with the air condition on full power. We chatted and cuddled. After napping I wanted to ask him about something.

- Chalerm, do you love me?

- Why you ask?

- You never said if you do or not.

- I shy.

The boy hid his head under a pillow.

- L-O-V-E, he spelled. - You understand?

- Yes, I said. I understand.

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Diary: Granny report 2

Chalerm’s grandmother left this morning. I wai’ed her before Chalerm took her to the bus station.

By now I was used to having granny here. She still didn’t say anything but I sensed Chalerm was happy she was here. Chalerm has been in a good mood the last couple of weeks. I have been hugged and kissed several times a day.

Granny slept a lot but got up at 5am. She preferred a bucket of water to clean herself rather than the shower. Granny is doing it the traditional way.

She still calls me “the farang”. If any of Chalerm’s friends call me that I start calling them “the Thai”. Then they get the point. But I can’t do that with granny.

I haven’t been to Anyburi for a long time. I hear the XL ladyboy (now the XXL ladyboy) is still a monk up there. Maybe I and Chalerm should rent a car and go on another expedition to the village. We’ll see.

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Diary: Granny report

My grandmother-in-law has stayed with Chalerm and I for a week now. Granny is a widow and 72 years old. She has ran out of grandchildren to baby-sit in the village and now she is on holiday in Bangkok.

Granny doesn’t do much when she stays with us. Actually she doesn’t do anything. My idea of nothing doing anything, lazy as it is, at least includes reading a book, surfing the Internet or daydreaming while watching the sky. When granny does nothing she really does nothing. She doesn’t watch television, she doesn’t listen to the radio, and she doesn’t even look out the window. I am impressed.

Thais like to come to visit suddenly, without telling you before they arrive. I am lucky if I am told when she leaves the village by bus.

Chalerm went up to Anybury to get her so this time I got an early warning. Chalerm no longer spends much time in Anyburi. He was homesick at first when he moved to Bangkok. But now he isn’t in school in Anyburi anymore. Many of his friends have moved away. Those who remain are married, or they have 12-hour-a-day jobs and Chalerm doesn’t see them. There is little for Chalerm to do in the village. He can organise fun and games for the children, which he does sometimes, but that quickly gets boring. Now Chalerm goes back to the village and returns to Bangkok in one day.

I am not supposed to ask how long granny will stay here. Thais don’t like to plan ahead. If I ask Chalerm will ask me why I need to know. This is true. I don’t need to know. It is simply my farang habit of asking, wanting to know what the plan is. But this being Thailand there is no plan. Maybe she will stay another day, or another week, or another year. I will not know until she suddenly has packed her bag and is leaving.

I am not sure if granny considers me a human life form or not. I am a farang and she sees me as I would see a little green man from Mars – a complete alien. Granny doesn’t speak to me. This is not out of hostility but because I am an alien. Would you speak to an alien?

Granny has diabetes and makes her own special food in the kitchen. Chalerm has his own taste and makes his food too, or eats out in the soi. Granny never leaves the apartment. Bangkok is a big place and she is afraid of getting lost. I think she is wise. I don’t want any granny search and rescue operation. I have yet another taste in food (no rotten fish with stinky sauce please) so I also eat out. I am afraid we have no cosy family meals in this house.

Granny doesn’t like air condition. Instead she opens the window and turns on the fan. She forgets to close the door to her room and then her scheme ruins my air condition.

Granny has staked her territory in our apartment. She has the guest bedroom, the kitchen and the 3rd bathroom, which I had forgotten we had. The 3rd bathroom is tiny. Inside are a squat toilet and a cold-water shower. I have never used this bathroom but granny much prefers it to our incomprehensible Western-style bathrooms.

My grandmother-in-law doesn’t make much fuss. She never sits in the living room. She seems surprised if she runs into me. The look on her face says “Do you live here too?”

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How I met my boyfriend 19

In the morning my new apartment became crowded. In addition to my boyfriend, myself and the four guests two maids came to clean up the mess, two so-called engineers from the building came to oversee the repairs, and three men came to replace the window.  

The building staff found the incident amusing. Fat ladyboy falling through window. Haha! Funny too much.  
I must be making a great first impression in this building, I thought as neighbours stopped to watch the repairmen struggle to carry the new window up the stairs. The manager, the reception lady and the security guard made me understand I was now a treasured source of entertainment.  
I paid out of my pocket and the men installed the new window. I didn’t even try to make ladyboy XL pay for the repair. It was an accident and being an idiot wasn’t a crime. Chalerm had whispered that I had to give him money so he could buy food for his friends. Ladyboy XL hardly had enough money for the bus home.  
In the evening the youths dressed up and applied makeup, getting ready to go out. I was alarmed to see Chalerm wearing a blouse and a cotton-stuffed bra. I had never seen Chalerm as a ladyboy before. I blamed the XL ladyboy for influencing him but I decided not to say anything while Chalerm’s friends were there.  
The friends had seen Sanam Lum Night Bazar advertised on television. The concerts and events there looked like fun. They set out to find it but came back disappointed two hours later, exhausted from walking up and down Silom and Rama 4 road. When they finally found the bazaar it was closed. Since they were not 20 yet they could not go to any of the other nightlife spots on Silom road. I felt sorry for them. They were country folks lost in the city.  
I saw the twin girls were using the telephone without asking my permission. Chalerm said they were calling home to tell their parents they were OK in Bangkok. They must be done by now, I thought, and unplugged the telephone.  
Saturday afternoon we went to Maboonkrong for shopping. The girls and the boys looked a lot but bought nothing. The XL ladyboy, who was wide but not tall, showed me platform shoes with glitter on that he would like to have. The twins were obsessed with some mini-skirts. I ignored this and all the other hints. 
When the group left for Anyburi I went to tidy up the room they had been in. I had prepared for them to sleep in the office and living room but the four guests preferred to sleep Thai style in a shared bed. I saw three towels were missing. I had bought ten of them at Macro, now there were only seven left. The towels were not in the laundry or anywhere else. Also missing were a new pair of scissors, still in the original case.  
Is this their gratitude, I thought, nicking things? Worse, my watch had been in the drawer under the computer and was never seen again. And when my phone bill came I saw they had plugged the phone back in and spent the night calling long distance while Chalerm and I were asleep.  
I knew who had done this. The twins had been nervous and edgy before they left. Now I knew why. Maybe they worried I would search their bags? I guess I should have.  
I was furious. From then on I only referred to them as the Thieving Twins. This hurt. It wasn’t as much the money as having my hospitality and trust betrayed.  
Chalerm became worried when I told him about the thefts. He searched the apartment hoping to find the missing items. He interviewed our maid, who was afraid we would accuse her of stealing. I knew it wasn’t her. Reluctantly Chalerm had to agree that this was fishy. The eventful weekend had come to the following:  
Three towels a 20 baht, 60 baht

One pair of scissors, 100 baht

Telephone abuse, 750 baht

One Casio watch, 3000 baht

One broken window, 4300 baht 
Total 8210 baht 

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How I met my boyfriend 18

When I turned to look one of the big floor-to-ceiling windows had been broken. It was obviously not safety glass as it was completely gone with only empty air left in the window frame. Ladyboy XL lay on his back among pieces of broken glass. His upper body was inside the living room while his feet were out on the balcony. In his fall he had pulled out the electric cord to the television.  
Chalerm laughed hysterically.  
The shy good girl was staring at the ladyboy as if in shock. The twins were staring at me with fearful faces, as if they expected me to go berserk and beat up everyone. Maybe that was what their father used to do when someone broke a window.  
The XL ladyboy lay still with his eyes closed. None of the Thais did anything.  
I tried to pull the ladyboy out of the broken glass but he was too heavy and there were many dangerous pieces of glass on the floor. I grabbed pillows from the sofa and put under him.  
The ladyboy opened his eyes partly.

- Get a water bottle, I told Chalerm. Make him drink.

In truth I didn’t know what to do but giving them water is always good, I thought.  
I removed the worst of the broken glass from around the ladyboy and placed more pillows around him so he would not cut himself if he moved. Chalerm force-fed him water.  
After ten minutes the ladyboy was slowly returning to his senses, enough to help when Chalerm and I pulled him back into the room using the pillows as a sleigh. The good girl came to wipe the ladyboy’s face and to pick small glass bits from his skin. He was bleeding from a cut on his arm and from smaller cuts in his face. None of the cuts were deep.  
The twins were still sitting there petrified as if they expected me to get a gun and shoot them all.

- Never mind, I said. It was just an accident.  
Just how dim is this ladyboy, I thought. Didn’t he see the large windows and the glass doors? Did he think it was open space from the living room to the balcony? Had he tried to walk right through it? 
Half an hour later the ladyboy was strong enough to get up from the floor. The girls took him to the guest bedroom and put him to bed. I told them to keep giving him water. I had Chalerm ask the XL one what had happened and translate back to me. In a bizarre way, the explanation made sense.  
I sat down to call my friend on the phone. I took the phone to the office room. The living room was too hot. With a window missing the air condition had become pointless.  
- One is a handful, two is trouble and five is inviting disaster, said Farang D.

- Bless your optimism.

- I expected something to happen but the speed surprised me, said Farang D.

- It took him ten minutes from arriving till he had wrecked the place, I said.

- No reason to complain. You were lucky.

- Lucky?

- If he had cut himself seriously you would have to pay his hospital bill too.

- Hell no. He could pay for it himself.

- They don’t have any money, do they?

- Come to think of it, no they don’t.

- So you were lucky.

- Whatever.

- Why did the ladyboy break the glass? He didn’t see it?

- According to himself he did see it. But he fainted.

- Fainted?

- Yes. Blacked out. Collapsed and fell.

- What made him faint?

- Probably his diet. Chalerm says the ladyboy had not been eating or drinking today.

- Not drinking anything? Very hot today.

- Exactly. He must have been dehydrated. It was a lucky guess when I had Chalerm give him water.

- And why did he do something as spectacularly foolish as not drinking any water all day in 35 Celsius?

- Nobody told them water isn’t fattening.

- Nobody told them about the dangers of dehydration either?

- Or they were not listening. The nice thing about a diet without eating or drinking is that after 24 hours you can step on the scale and you are two or three kilos lighter. In a tropical climate this works well.

- If you survive.

- The XL ladyboy can then start over-eating again since he has proved how easy it is to lose weight. Brilliant, isn’t it?

- Have to give them points for inventive thinking. 

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How I met my boyfriend 17

- Chalerm’s father is not a bad person, I told Farang D. He is irresponsible, selfish and happy-go-lucky but not evil.

- A typical Thai man, said Farang D. They live for the moment. They act like children. They make babies left and right and as long as the problems are out of sight they are out of mind.

- They spend their money on booze, whoring and gambling?

- That’s right. The mothers are left to raise the children as best as they can.

- He has children with three wives that I know of and the current stepmother is the sixth. Even by Thai standards isn’t this a lot?

- I would not say so. Some of my employees are in their 20ies and they are already starting their 2nd families. The driver has two minor wives already. 
I found an affordable apartment within walking distance of the gay zone on Silom road. It was a grand but faded place with three bedrooms and three bathrooms. 20 years ago it had been luxurious. The apartment was more than I needed but I liked the location.  
The boy had been eager for me to get an apartment. When he heard the news he promised to come and house warm the place with his friends from Anyburi. They had been asking when they could come to Bangkok and visit him.  
I received the keys on a Friday afternoon and a couple of hours later the reception called and said I had visitors. In the sofa downstairs my boyfriend sat with a pair of slutty-looking twins with push-up bras, a shy girl and a size XL ladyboy. Chalerm was wearing his orange short pants with yellow flowers on again. I could understand why the reception lady and the security guard gave the group curious looks.  
Chalerm was excited about the apartment and ran around to inspect every room. His school friends were shy in presence of me the farang and sat down reluctantly. I turned on the television to make them relax.  
- This is my room, said Chalerm when he came to the second largest bedroom.

- It is for guests, I said. And the smaller bedroom is the office but two of your friends can sleep there tonight.

- And this is the master bedroom, I said. You and I will stay here.  
I opened the door to the adjacent bathroom and Chalerm was duly impressed. He put his beauty bag on a shelf and sniffed the soap bar.  
I noticed the XL ladyboy was unsteady.

- What’s with him, I asked Chalerm.

- Him sick, said Chalerm.

- What is wrong?

- Him diet. Want be thin.  
The ladyboy was walking across the room in a wobbly way. The last I saw of him was that he was behind the television set, which I had put against the large windows and the slide doors of glass which separated the living room from the balcony.  
I didn’t see the accident but I heard it. A loud crashing sound of breaking glass, the twins screaming, and the television going quiet. 

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How I met my boyfriend 16

Chalerm called me in the evening and said he would go to his mother’s village the next morning. He had then arrived in a nearby town where he and the guide stayed overnight in a hotel.  
The next day I received a text message from him. I saved the message and it is still in my mobile phone. It reads: “Now I see my mother. I think come back today.” The message was sent 8.06am.  
His message made me worried. It was 8am and the visit to the mother was already over? This didn’t sound promising.  
I could not reach the phone Chalerm had sent the message from and didn’t hear from the boy until he came back in the afternoon, looking tired and pale.  
- Did you meet your mother, I asked.

- Yes.

- What did she say?

- She say “Why you look like girl?”

- She said that?

- Yes.

- Did you see your sister?

- See.

- How did you find them in the village?

- People introduce.  
Then he went to bed.  
Later the boy told me that his mother had a new family with a husband and several children - Chalerm’s half siblings. The mother had accepted the gift Chalerm brought. I don’t know what it was but the budget for the gift was 1500 baht. The mother had said Chalerm was born in December, not in May the year after. Chalerm was four months older than his papers said. Chalerm also told me that when his family belatedly had taken him to register the child with the authorities his aunt had pretended to be his mother.  
Chalerm didn’t say anything negative about this mother. But it was clear both from his face and from the short nature of the visit that the reunion had been a failure.  
Chalerm slept for a while and when I joined him in bed he woke and looked at me with distant and foggy eyes. He wanted to be embraced and fell asleep again in my arms. In his sleep he shook and had strange spasms, as if he had a continuous nightmare. He curled up in a foetus position while I held him and only in the early morning hours did his body relax. Then I could sleep too. 

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How I met my boyfriend 15

Chalerm told me about when he was born. At the time the family were poorer and they were landless farmers in the hills above the village where they lived now. This was before Thailand’s economic boom that gave the area electricity, factory jobs and roads. Since Chalerm was born the province had gone from ox charts to motorbikes. Back then they were 3rd world destitute. They lived in simple huts in the forest, tended cattle and grew what they could. There was no road and the walk to town took hours.  

Chalerm’s mother had enough of Chalerm’s father, who was out womanising and had not been home for six months. The father didn’t support the daughter he already had with Chalerm’s mother. She was two years old. Chalerm’s mother didn’t get along with her in-laws either.  

Chalerm’s mother gave birth in secrecy and alone. When she had recovered she put the newborn baby in a tree and left. She wanted to go home to her own village and could not carry two children through the forest. She never came back.  

When Chalerm’s grandmother found the baby it was dehydrated and weak. Ants were crawling over it and Chalerm showed me where on his belly the ants had penetrated his skin, making a wound.  

The grandparents doubted if the baby could live but gave it cow milk and cared for it. The baby survived but when the father came home he had no interest in the child. He sold it to his uncle, the grandfather’s brother, for 100 baht.  

But when the father left again to find work in the city the grandmother bought the baby back. Her husband wasn’t too pleased having another child to feed but accepted it. From then on the grandmother was Chalerm’s guardian.  

Chalerm told me this story in small bits and I was shaken when I had heard it. I told it to Farang D who was shaken by it too. Farang D then told Chalerm’s story to some of his friends and the news spread. There were three kinds of reactions.  

The first was: - A baby in a tree? Sure, and the buffalo died and the brother had a motorbike accident and granny needs an operation. It is just another soi 4 scam story! People who didn’t know Chalerm said this. They assumed it was a sob tale designed to get money from a gullible foreigner.  

The second reaction came from Farang D’s boyfriend Golf and his brother Ball, the doctor. These sheltered middle class Thai boys refused to believe any of it. In their version of Thailand mothers didn’t abandon their babies, fathers were responsible and there wasn’t any poverty. They were in denial about the realities among farmers and working-class people. A Thai family behaving like this simply wasn’t possible.  

The third reaction was from people who knew Chalerm. They knew he had integrity, that he wasn’t a barboy and that he came from a humble background. They believed him.  

- Chalerm doesn’t manipulate me for money, I said. He is honest. I don’t see any reason why he should make this up.

- The ants and the 100 baht sale are the most dubious details, said Farang D. But even if you subtract that the rest might be true.

- This is the truth as he has been told it by his grandmother. Maybe she exaggerated to make herself the hero. But if anyone has a spine in that family it is the grandmother. Not the useless men.

- Thai families are often like that. The women hold them afloat, said Farang D.

- I knew they used to be poorer and live in the hills, I said. Chalerm told me that earlier. If you leave a baby behind in a tropical forest, where are you going to put it? You can’t leave it on the ground or in a small open hut where animals can get to it. To hang it up in a tree is logical.

- Even in a tree ants are going to find it.

- The 100 baht sale could be realistic too. A symbolic sum to get rid of a motherless child.

- When he was born 100 baht was worth more, I said. Maybe a weeks salary.

- In any case it is a hair-rising story, said Farang D. I feel for the boy. But such things happen in the villages. This is not the Thailand of tourist brochures.  

Meanwhile Chalerm had gone to his mother’s province with his neighbour as guide. I was anxious to hear from him. 

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How I met my boyfriend 14

Chalerm had said the first day I met him that he had no mother. She had left when he was small and he didn’t remember her.  
But his father was still around. He had not contributed much to Chalerm’s upbringing. Chalerm was bitter because his father had neglected him. The boy was raised by his grandparents and the father would rarely visit him or help him. 

The father was a handsome and charming man and popular with the ladies. Chalerm knew of three women his father had children with and Chalerm could remember a series of stepmothers. The current stepmother was the sixth.  

In particular Chalerm had been sad when the father came to Anyburi but stayed with one of his wives and never visited his son or the grandparents. Chalerm only heard rumours of the father being in town. I thought this was heartbreaking. I could imagine Chalerm as a child sitting there outside the house, waiting for a father who never came.  

While he was with me in Bangkok Chalerm had a dream in which someone took him to meet his mother. Chalerm took the dream seriously and wanted to go and look for her and his only full blood sibling, a sister who was a couple of years older than him. The boy had never met the sister either.  

I was sceptical. I was afraid that whatever happened if he found her it would be a disappointment. My friends agreed. Mr. X had adopted a son from Father Brennan’s Orphanage in Pattaya. Years later Mr. X took the son back to the orphanage for a visit and the kid went crazy with fear and aggression as soon as they entered the building.  

Another friend of mine, Mr. Y., was adopted as a baby and had never tried to find his real parents.

- It is just a daydream, said Mr. Y. Reality is going to hurt him. If the mother gave him up and never visited him again there is a reason for it.  

I told Chalerm this. I could tell he had thought about this because he didn’t protest.

- Why have you not tried to find her before, I asked.

- I too young. And no have money.  

But now Chalerm had money - my money. We set up a budget for his plan. There was a woman in his village who had known the mother when she gave birth to Chalerm. This neighbour knew the place the mother was from, in another province. Chalerm would ask this woman to be his guide. He had to compensate her for taking time off work, as well as give her reasonable pay for her trouble. Then there were bus, hotel, food, transport to the mother’s village and a gift to his long lost parent.  

I wanted to go with the boy. This expedition sounded hazardous. What if the mother rejected him? What is she was a nasty person? I hoped for the best but my gut feeling was that this would not end well. I wanted to be with Chalerm in case there were any unpleasant events. I wanted to be near him and comfort him.  

- I go alone, said Chalerm.

- Better if I am with you.

- No. When mother see me is ok. If see farang also too much.  

I could not persuade Chalerm to let me come with him. And with his stepmother in mind I had to agree maybe it was best I stayed out of sight. 

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