Archive for June, 2006

Picture: Arashi in bed

Friday, June 30th, 2006

Yet another Japanese boyband, Arashi. Boys, keep your hands where I can see them.

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Bangkok diary: Shampoo

Friday, June 30th, 2006

Yesterday when I was in the shower my shampoo bottle was gone. One bottle of Head & Shoulders Classic, bought at the 7-Eleven at a cost of 48 baht, only one third of it used, was gone. I knew who had taken it.

Of course I discovered the missing bottle when I was naked and wet in the shower. This was inconvenient as it was Thursday and the maid could be lurking anywhere in the apartment. I did not want to wander around naked and frighten the woman. So I put on a towel, even if I don’t look as nice in a towel as Thai boys do.

The bottle was not in the 2nd bathroom. I found it on Chalerm’s desk next to his perfume collection.

When Chalerm came home I told him about this.
- If you use my shampoo, can you please put it back again?
- Sure, said Chalerm.

But the same thing happened today. I was naked and wet and there was no shampoo. Today I didn’t expect the maid to be here, but instead Lek the Queen of Si Saket was visiting us in The Mansion. Lek is an innocent young man, unexposed to the realities of the world. I didn’t want to frighten him either.

Chalerm was home and I called him from my mobile phone.
- Can I have my shampoo back please?

Chalerm came running to my bathroom with the bottle.

Chalerm said with a cheesy smile and exaggerated politeness:
- Sorry. Here is your shampoo.

I said with an equally cheesy smile and even more exaggerated politeness:
- Buy your own.

This concludes the news from The Mansion for today.

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Bangkok diary: Mental health

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

Chalerm is playing matchmaker. The Queen of Si Saket wants to date Farang Y, a friend of mine. Since they are both nice guys I approve.

Someone left this message in the blog: “jessie i love you be my husband! please, jessie LOVE MICHAELA”. Gentlemen, it looks like we have competition from teenage girls. They use search engines to find the pictures of pop stars and young male celebrities I have posted here. In this case she found Jesse McCartney.

The military demanded that Chalerm should go to even more tests to prove that he is not insane. Is this just bureaucracy or is it revenge for Chalerm standing up against them on TV? In any case he went to a mental health hospital and spoke to psychiatrist. The doctor asked Chalerm to draw a house on a blank paper, then add a tree, some people and so on. Chalerm did not think this was funny and told the doctor it was a waste of time. The doctor still gave Chalerm the statement.

When he came home Chalerm tried the test on me. I drew my best house, trees and people in an art style which has not changed since I was eight years old. Not surprisingly Chalerm concluded that I am ting tong.

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Bangkok diary: Life after granny

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006

The atmosphere in the house is lighter now that granny has left. Chalerm is back in his good mood, dancing and singing for no particular reason. He is touched and happy when granny arrives but maybe 10 weeks was a bit much even for him.

I am compensating for my guilt over kicking granny out by raising her monthly pension by 500 baht.

No sooner was granny gone than The Queen of Si Saket came and slept over. He walked around in his underwear in the evening and Chalerm watched me closely to see if my eyes strayed. I made sure they did not.

Farang S asked me to do his company website. I didn’t take the job. Farang S will hire a firm in the UK instead. I wonder what the bill will be.

The latest monk scandal in the kingdom involves a senior abbot who was caught on camera homping a teenage girl. But that was just the warm-up. In the next set of photos presented in the tabloid newspapers the abbot’s partner had four legs. The monk has fled and is nowhere to be found. Maybe they should look in the doghouse.

Looking at the visitor list for the site I see exotic places: Nepal, Iceland, Iran and Sudan. So they have Internet in Khartoum these days? Maybe someone is in Sudan wishing he were in Thailand instead. I haven’t been to Sudan so I don’t know how much fun one can have there. Mr. Sudan, if you read this perhaps you would like to comment?

When I put the Bangkok novel back online traffic to this site doubled overnight. I guess this means some of you are reading it. Disclaimer: Any similarity with real people and events is intended.

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Pictures: Jin Akanashi from Kat-tun

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

For BKKDreamer: Boyband singer Jin Akanashi from the group Kat-Tun.

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Sh*t happens

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

This is a report from the dirty side of Bangkok. Friday I was walking down Silom road, minding my own business, when I became aware of a gentleman in the bushes outside a large corporate building. I don’t want to say which corporation it was, since this might stain their image, but it is a big and well-known one.

The gentleman was squatting with his pants down. His bare butt was facing the corporate headquarters, and his relived face was towards Silom road.

The man was performing a basic human ritual, and he was doing it in full view of everyone. The small bushes were not nearly enough to hide what was going on. Embarrassed office ladies walking past tried to pretend they didn’t see him. I also kept my eyes to myself and hurried past the man, having seen enough of him already.

One should think this was the end of this sordid story, but there is more. Later I could not keep myself but had to tell a farang friend what I saw. This friend works for the corporation whose grounds were soiled. My friend reported the incident to the security department.

The security department wanted to know the day, time and place for the unfortunate event. I provided the information: I saw it Friday at 5pm. To pinpoint the place I drew a map. The map showed the bushes, the roads, buildings, and the offending spot marked with an X.

Thus I made what was probably the first sh*tmap in Bangkok.

I assume they will look for solid evidence, and perhaps watch tapes from security cameras. Now I wonder what will happen to the chap who was in such a hurry. I worry that if they find him they will beat the crap out of him.

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The Novel is back online

Monday, June 26th, 2006

Gay Western men chase pretty Thai boys in Bangkok, with variable success.

I put The Novel back online - the 141 chapters I wrote last year. It is a fictional story in soap opera style about some Western gay men in Bangkok and their Thai boys. It has no particular beginning or end (yet). Happy reading :)

The Bangkok novel

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Bangkok diary: Granny has left the building

Monday, June 26th, 2006

Chalerm took his grandmother to the bus station. Surprise one was that he didn’t protest. Maybe he too thought she had been here long enough. Surprise two was that granny took the hint and packed her bags.
(more…)

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Bangkok diary: Is my boyfriend gay?

Sunday, June 25th, 2006

One of the perks of having a web site is that I can see what keywords people use to find the site in Google, Yahoo and the other search engines. Most of the keywords are what you would expect, like gay+thailand. But some are unexpected, and some almost tell a story. Here are samples from the keyword list for June:

diary+of+a+dirty+boy

is+jesse+mccartney+gay?

jesse+mccartney+said+he+was+gay

is+jeremy+sumpter+gay?

silverdaddies

kept+boys+and+sugar+daddies

generous+sugardaddies+gay

my+boyfriend+is+moving+in+with+me

my+boyfriend+lied+to+me

is+my+boyfriend+gay?

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Picture: TVXQ the Korean boyband

Sunday, June 25th, 2006

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Bangkok diary: Granny and the quality of life

Sunday, June 25th, 2006

I am concerned about granny. She stays indoors for weeks and never goes out. She is not getting any fresh air. This can’t be healthy.

I proposed to Chalerm yesterday that he takes granny to Rangsit in northern Bangkok, where his father lives with Chalerm’s stepmother and the daughters, a number of kids and a bunch of other people, maids and workers and who knows who they all are.

In Rangsit granny can get green grass under her feet again, and sun on her face, and she can cuddle with the children and talk to people. This would be much better for her.

I spoke to Chalerm about this plan yesterday. This was after he had said he didn’t know how long granny wanted to stay here with us, and after he replied “I don’t know” when I asked if she wanted to remain here the rest of her life.

I expect general approval of my Rangsit plan. It should be executed today, when traffic is light and they can go by taxi without getting stuck. Yes, the plan is so good that I insist Chalerm takes his grandmother to Rangsit as soon as possible.

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Pictures: Since u-know Juno

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

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Pictures: U-know Juno?

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

This is Juno from the Korean boyband TVXQ. Sometimes people spell his name as U-know. So now you know.

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Bangkok diary: Granny answers the phone

Friday, June 23rd, 2006

I had a dream in which a phone rang. My mind rose through the layers of sleep and I realised it was real. Ring ring. It was the phone in the living room. Let granny answer it, I thought. It isn’t for me anyway. It must be some relative of hers.

Granny picked up the phone. At the other end was Farang S, who speaks excellent Thai.
- Hello? said granny.
- Hello. Can I speak to Khun Silom please? asked Farang S.
- Who?
- Khun Silom.
- Who is that?
- Khun Silom. The farang.
- Oh the farang? The farang who lives here?
- Yes.

Granny hung up on Farang S. She went to my door and banged on it, mumbling something. When I opened the door she was walking away. I heard her say something about “your friend” and she gestured in the direction of the telephone.

But when I looked at the phone the receiver was down. Granny thinks that one can put the receiver down and the other person will still be there when someone comes to pick it up again. Granny never had a traditional phone, one with a landline. She has only in the later years of her life seen mobile phones. With mobile phones it doesn’t matter if you put the unit down on the table, the person at the other end will still be there.

All this was revealed when Farang S called my mobile phone, which was by my bed. I am touched by granny’s familiarity with me, her grandson-in-law. I am “the farang who lives here”.

Come to think of it, I don’t know her name either.

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Bangkok diary: Cute

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

I have met two lovely Thai boys the last 24 hours.

The first was a taxi driver who picked me up in the soi. He took a wrong turn and ended up near the river instead of at Burger King, but he was so charming that I forgave him. I noticed his soft gayish voice and how gently he changed gear. I noticed how he took up a stick to put on his lips every time we stopped at red light. It was not a coloured lipstick mind you, but that greasy white one they use when their lips are dry.

The boy was 21, he told me. He had driven taxi for 5-6 months. He became uncertain when I asked about that, wondering if I faulted his driving. But I didn’t.

At times it can be hard to be a married man. I played with the idea of asking taxi boy for his phone number, or maybe invite him for a hamburger (he said he liked them!). But where would that lead? Not to anywhere I want to go. So I gave him a tip and wished him good luck.

The second talent was a new boy in the 7-Eleven. He started while I was in Farangland, two weeks ago. He has a boyish cute face and is shy. I guess he is around 19-20. This one I took home. Now now, don’t jump to conclusions. It was quite random and unplanned. When I bought water in bulk in the 7-Eleven today I needed someone to transport it back to the apartment. I spoke to another boy, someone who had done it before and knew where I live. But he delegated the task to the new boy. And I kept the shy boy company up the soi, in the lift and as we carried the water into the kitchen.

I normally tip 20 baht when they deliver, but for reasons not entirely rational I offered the cutie 50 baht. But he refused to take it. I insisted in Thai, and he still refused. He rushed back to the lift, his forehead sweaty from the work.

Actually I think 7-Eleven boy is straight. He is boyish and cute and sexy, but straight. Taxi boy, on the other hand, was gay and perhaps hoping for an offer. I can’t be sure but there was a certain expectation or tension when I spoke to him. He was more than friendly and I caught myself hoping I would meet him again, which is not terriblly likely in a city with 100 000 cabs.

I enjoyed meeting the boys anyway. This is the great thing about Thailand: All the cute boys and the daily encounters that lift my spirit.

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Pictures: Jesse McCartney

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

In our series Young Men Who Take Their Shirts Off To Promote Their Careers, we have today the American actor and singer Jesse McCartney. Jesse is one of these Disney Channel kids who have been on television since they could walk. Now he has come of age and is proudly showing his stuff. Well done Jesse, we appreciate the effort.

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Bangkok diary: Shirtless

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

Chalerm came naked into the living room yesterday evening. – Get dressed, yelled granny from the TV corner. Chalerm put on a long shirt but nothing else. When he came by the computer desk to tease me I pulled the shirt up, making him embarrassed. Granny was not amused.

At 7am granny was chopping meat in the kitchen. Bang bang bang! I was just beginning to wonder what the neighbours would think about it when Chalerm appeared on the scene, telling granny to stop it.

Actually granny’s services are no longer needed in this house since I am back from Farangland and Chalerm would not be alone anymore.

In more uphill struggle news: I am out of clean shirts. Chalerm has taken to just-in-time delivery of my shirts. First he made two, then one the evening before I needed to wear it, and now it is morning and I don’t have any. We’ll see if he irons one before going to class.

Yes, I can do it myself. Yes, I can send the laundry out. But these two Thais in the house can… no make that “must”… do something in return for what I give them. Granny was supposed to do the laundry and Chalerm was supposed to do the ironing. I am going to stare him down on this one.

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