170. Dating Noi
Duff tried speaking to Noi on the phone, but Noi only said “yes” and “thank you” to whatever Duff told him. It worked better when Duff asked Bia to call to Noi and set up the date. He was to meet them both at Siam Square at 8pm.
At 8pm Duff sat in Starbucks in Siam Centre. Bia arrived only 20 minutes later, blaming traffic. Bia brought a friend, a ladyboy by the name of Tracy.
- Sawaddee khaa, said Tracy and wai’ed Duff.
- Nice to meet you, said Duff.
Another 15 minutes went and Noi arrived. Noi didn’t blame anything in particular for the delay. He didn’t seem aware that he was late. Noi bought Oan and Nok, two friends. Nok said they should wait for Num and Oh, who were also expected.
After another ten minutes Num and Oh arrived and they had Eak with them.
Duff watched the growing group of Thai boys with concern. But he didn’t feel he could say anything without appearing petty. This was his first date with Noi and Duff wanted to make a favourable impression.
- All right, said Duff. - We are going to have pizza. How about Pizza Hut?
- Is good, said Bia. - But I waiting my friend.
- Yet another friend?
- Him lie pizza.
- I waiting Lek, said Noi.
- Wow! said Duff. - You speak English!
- Him speak little bit, said Bia. - But him shy.
When Bia’s pizza eating friend and Lek had arrived everyone went to Pizza Hut.
Pizza Hut sure is pricey these days, thought Duff as he studied the menu. He tried to calculate what it would cost to feed his guests and came to an alarming sum. Duff excused himself and went to the restroom. He called Robert Miller from his mobile phone.
- This is Duff. Sorry to disturb you but it is an emergency.
- A Thai boy emergency? asked Robert Miller.
- Is there any other kind of emergency?
- Usually not.
- I am dating Noi, Lek’s brother.
- Lek? Larson’s moneyboy?
- Yes. Noi is his younger brother.
- You want to become Larson’s brother-in-law?
- I haven’t thought of it that way. It is just a date.
- What is the problem then?
- There are nine of them.
- You are dating nine boys at the same time? I am impressed. Are you going to bonk them all tonight?
- I am only dating one. Plus I have Bia to translate. The rest just showed up.
- Thais are good at just showing up.
- This is out of control. What can I do?
- Feed them quickly before anyone else arrives. Either that or you can run away.
- Sneak out the back door and run away? That crossed my mind. Unfortunately they have begun ordering already. Someone must pay the bill.
- Then you can grin and bear it.
- This will cost thousands of baht!
- Yes. But think of all the face your date will gain.
- How is that?
- The others will give Noi credit for having provided the farang.
- Pardon me? Providing the farang?
- That’s how the Thais will see it.
- Noi isn’t providing anything. The date was my initiative.
- That doesn’t matter. Noi is shining for having thrown the party.
- Not fair. I am left with the bill.
- That’s our role. We pay the bills and the Thais have the fun.
- I am not having fun. I feel trapped.
- Next time invite them to my hotel. Then they can do the washing up.
Spirits were high when Duff returned. The Thais had ordered drinks and the pizzas were arriving one by one. Duff had hoped to sit next to Noi but the boy was on the other side of the table, sitting next to Lek. Worse, everyone spoke Thai. The boys laughed and chatted and had a great time but Duff felt left out.
Only when the bill came did attention focus on Duff again. Duff tried to keep a straight face. 4 735 baht? This was more than he had in his wallet. Duff had to use a credit card to pay.
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