225. Common complaints
When Noi had left the room Duff reached for the phone.
- Miller, said the voice.
- Robert! This is an emergency.
- Thai boy crisis? Press 1 if he ran away. Press 2 if he broke up with you. Press 3 if he wants more money.
- Ha ha. I press one.
- Is that all?
- Somehow he heard that I met someone in the bushes in Lumpini park. Nothing happened, but he heard about it.
- There are no secrets in Thailand.
- I feel bad about it.
- You feel bad? What about me?
- You?
- Yes. Me. I am so tired of hearing about Thai boy problems. It is the same over and over. The boy is rude, the boy is missing, the boy is demanding, the boy is sleeping around.
- Really, said Duff.
- I had enough of it. Who cares about my problems? My house is a mess but I have no Wailing Wall to call up.
- Sorry, said Duff. - I didn’t realise you had trouble.
- Trouble? First my boyfriend’s wife showed up and got a baby. Then the in-laws arrived. And what is next?
- What is next? asked Duff.
- Next is the second wife!
- Second wife?
- Haven’t you heard how Thai men like to have several wives? This is number two. She walked in this morning and demanded to be housed and fed.
- Holy cow! said Duff.
- And can you guess the punch line?
- Let me think. Oh no. Don’t tell me this one is pregnant too?
- Bingo! Except that the baby is already born. It’s a girl! Now I have two baby girls and a bunch of in-laws and a useless boyfriend.
- Should I congratulate you?
- Please don’t.
- Sorry to hear about this, said Duff. - You are right. My boy problems are small compared to yours. I apologise for whining.
- It’s ok, said Robert Miller. - Just remember not to take a straight guy as boyfriend.
- I don’t think I am in the danger zone, said Duff.
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