Comments on: Boyfriend exit http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/ The good life in Bangkok Sat, 30 Aug 2008 16:03:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.11-RC2 by: Silom Farang http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42747 Sun, 18 May 2008 15:53:21 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42747 Chalerm was 18 years and four months old when I met him. But his incorrectly recorded birth date was five months later, making him still appear 17 on his ID card. Chalerm was 18 years and four months old when I met him. But his incorrectly recorded birth date was five months later, making him still appear 17 on his ID card.

]]> by: Jay http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42745 Sun, 18 May 2008 15:30:45 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42745 Hi James, if you noted the blog site, the realtionship with Chalerm was also started when he was about 17 I think plus most of the guys here who posted their comments are also into young thai gay guys.(18 above I hope!). The western way of thinking and the Asian ways are different James that is why very few relationships between Older Western guys and younger western guys ever survive unless if only money is involved. Unlike with Asian guys, such realationships can survive if nutured correctly. By the way when I said that rules have to be applied, I meant fair rules that had justifications and well meanings and not some kind of sick, slave-like stuff. Furthermore James, as you mentioned, if you were only seeking for a sexual partner, then I do not think those relationships are going to last long. Meaningful lover type relationships do exists in the gay world James, you need not look for just sexual partners, it would burn you out mentally and emotionally after a while. Wish you luck mate. Hi James, if you noted the blog site, the realtionship with Chalerm was also started when he was about 17 I think plus most of the guys here who posted their comments are also into young thai gay guys.(18 above I hope!).

The western way of thinking and the Asian ways are different James that is why very few relationships between Older Western guys and younger western guys ever survive unless if only money is involved. Unlike with Asian guys, such realationships can survive if nutured correctly.

By the way when I said that rules have to be applied, I meant fair rules that had justifications and well meanings and not some kind of sick, slave-like stuff. Furthermore James, as you mentioned, if you were only seeking for a sexual partner, then I do not think those relationships are going to last long. Meaningful lover type relationships do exists in the gay world James, you need not look for just sexual partners, it would burn you out mentally and emotionally after a while. Wish you luck mate.

]]> by: James http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42733 Sun, 18 May 2008 13:19:05 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42733 Jay, since you started with your Thai friend when he was 18, you had a subordinate teenage boy at that time, not an adult bf. You may well have an adult bf now. The sort of "rules" you describe are reminiscent of a certain notorious gay Thai forum moderator. You may well be right - that may be the only way to make a "relationship" with such a young boy work. But many of us would have a hard time looking at ourselves in the mirror if we did. I don't think I could respect myself treating a sexual partner like that. If that's the only type of "relationship" that works, then I don't want it. Furthermore, I think you were probably lucky that your bf put up with your rules. Many farang have tried to impose such rules on their bfs - they're now single. Jay, since you started with your Thai friend when he was 18, you had a subordinate teenage boy at that time, not an adult bf. You may well have an adult bf now. The sort of “rules” you describe are reminiscent of a certain notorious gay Thai forum moderator.
You may well be right - that may be the only way to make a “relationship” with such a young boy work. But many of us would have a hard time looking at ourselves in the mirror if we did. I don’t think I could respect myself treating a sexual partner like that. If that’s the only type of “relationship” that works, then I don’t want it.
Furthermore, I think you were probably lucky that your bf put up with your rules. Many farang have tried to impose such rules on their bfs - they’re now single.

]]> by: Jay http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42722 Sun, 18 May 2008 09:18:28 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42722 Hi I hope not to sound like a prick but I really think that you are to be blame for the shortcomings in the relationship. Being the older and the one with the money and intelligence, you should have learnt to nuture the relationship in the correct manner from the beginning.Dealing with young Thai boys are not as complicated as everyone seems to say plus for all you guys out there who seem to condemn young Thai guys and have a lot to say about them.....pleeze take a look at yourselves and why the f....! are you guys still either here or are into them? Just like youths anywhere else they need proper guidance which involves rules being set from day one. Yes, most thais come from deprived backgrounds and less exposure let alone proper education, but given the right guidance, they can grow and excel. I am a 46 year old Asian expat in Bangkok with a Northern Thai bf of 8 years, he is currently 26. I met him in a bar, fell in love with him instantly and asked him to come stay with me after just a night. From day one, I made rules like him having to cut off all connections with his friends from the bar, the way he uses his free time, guided him into ways to upgrade his skills and education, etc. At that time, I had only spent a bout a year in Bangkok and was working in a lowly paid job in Bangkok and he could not speak a word of English. We had gone through the worst times together including renting a Thai style room fro 2,000 baht a month and eating a pack of sticky rice to survive when I was jobless to today, when I have assets worth more than 8 million US$ under his name, and we live extremely comfortably. He runs two of my 6 companies and is currently featured in numerous Thai magazines and publications. What I am trying to say is that it is possible to nuture a right relationship with a Thai boy. In the case of Chalerm, you guys have gone through numerous good times together I am sure , so try to salvage the relationship and nuture it the right way. You will have to start a fresh with him and lay down certain rules,etc and also motivate him through mixing with the right people,etc. Old ties have to be cut and always insists on vetting all his freinds, etc. A realtionship with a young Thai also involves a degree of responsible parenting...lol! But it pays in the end. Good Luck. Hi I hope not to sound like a prick but I really think that you are to be blame for the shortcomings in the relationship. Being the older and the one with the money and intelligence, you should have learnt to nuture the relationship in the correct manner from the beginning.Dealing with young Thai boys are not as complicated as everyone seems to say plus for all you guys out there who seem to condemn young Thai guys and have a lot to say about them…..pleeze take a look at yourselves and why the f….! are you guys still either here or are into them? Just like youths anywhere else they need proper guidance which involves rules being set from day one. Yes, most thais come from deprived backgrounds and less exposure let alone proper education, but given the right guidance, they can grow and excel.

I am a 46 year old Asian expat in Bangkok with a Northern Thai bf of 8 years, he is currently 26. I met him in a bar, fell in love with him instantly and asked him to come stay with me after just a night. From day one, I made rules like him having to cut off all connections with his friends from the bar, the way he uses his free time, guided him into ways to upgrade his skills and education, etc. At that time, I had only spent a bout a year in Bangkok and was working in a lowly paid job in Bangkok and he could not speak a word of English. We had gone through the worst times together including renting a Thai style room fro 2,000 baht a month and eating a pack of sticky rice to survive when I was jobless to today, when I have assets worth more than 8 million US$ under his name, and we live extremely comfortably. He runs two of my 6 companies and is currently featured in numerous Thai magazines and publications. What I am trying to say is that it is possible to nuture a right relationship with a Thai boy.
In the case of Chalerm, you guys have gone through numerous good times together I am sure , so try to salvage the relationship and nuture it the right way. You will have to start a fresh with him and lay down certain rules,etc and also motivate him through mixing with the right people,etc. Old ties have to be cut and always insists on vetting all his freinds, etc. A realtionship with a young Thai also involves a degree of responsible parenting…lol! But it pays in the end.
Good Luck.

]]> by: James http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42707 Sun, 18 May 2008 06:17:43 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42707 I don't think SF is "demanding" at all, at least not based on his side of the story, which of course is all we know. :-) What he would like is an adult relationship with a young man who would prefer to behave like a 12 year old girl. Maybe that is never going to change, but expecting a adult relationship from somone who is at least age-wise an adult is not an unreasonable expectation. But Chalerm may never be able to provide that. I don’t think SF is “demanding” at all, at least not based on his side of the story, which of course is all we know. :-)
What he would like is an adult relationship with a young man who would prefer to behave like a 12 year old girl.
Maybe that is never going to change, but expecting a adult relationship from somone who is at least age-wise an adult is not an unreasonable expectation. But Chalerm may never be able to provide that.

]]> by: MikeW http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42706 Sun, 18 May 2008 06:02:59 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42706 SF I have not emailed you for a while. Every relationship is different regardless of the players and where they are from. While I do not live full time in Thailand I could not imagine having a BF from anywhere else. No matter the circumstances relationships are always a struggle. In most relationships money is always an issue. Why should it be any different with Thai boys, especially when they have very little money or hope. Both of you are very fortunate and I hope this is just a lovers spat! SF I have not emailed you for a while. Every relationship is different regardless of the players and where they are from. While I do not live full time in Thailand I could not imagine having a BF from anywhere else. No matter the circumstances relationships are always a struggle. In most relationships money is always an issue. Why should it be any different with Thai boys, especially when they have very little money or hope. Both of you are very fortunate and I hope this is just a lovers spat!

]]> by: Suan Phlu Farang http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42695 Sun, 18 May 2008 02:45:48 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42695 SF I am somewhat relieved that you have confronted Chalerm (again), I know the feeling but believe me when I disengaged from my 'Chalerm' I was happier and richer. I don't know what he did with his allowance to get an education, but he is still as thick as ever. BUT not living with me any more. Good luck SF I am somewhat relieved that you have confronted Chalerm (again), I know the feeling but believe me when I disengaged from my ‘Chalerm’ I was happier and richer. I don’t know what he did with his allowance to get an education, but he is still as thick as ever. BUT not living with me any more.
Good luck

]]> by: Herman zee German http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42668 Sat, 17 May 2008 16:29:28 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42668 Any encouragement given to either one of you would possibly hurt the other. So to both of you: behave like adults and try to find a way out of this situation. And from reading this exceptional blog, i think both of you are very demanding. Chalerm in terms of maintenance and SF in terms of attentiveness. Neither of that is good or bad. Try to find back to the roots of your relationship. Maybe to continue the novel would help?! Any encouragement given to either one of you would possibly hurt the other. So to both of you: behave like adults and try to find a way out of this situation. And from reading this exceptional blog, i think both of you are very demanding. Chalerm in terms of maintenance and SF in terms of attentiveness. Neither of that is good or bad. Try to find back to the roots of your relationship. Maybe to continue the novel would help?!

]]> by: Jon http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42658 Sat, 17 May 2008 13:42:00 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42658 I've been visiting this blog for a while now and I enjoy the posts about chalerm very much. However, I can't help but feel that chalerm has been taking advantage of you for a long time. From your posts, it doesn't seem like he has any feelings for you. He seems to see you as his ticket to the easy life. At least that is what I get from your postings on this blog. Maybe its time to let go of chalerm. I know you feel attached to him. But don't let him use you. There are others out there who'll give you the attention you deserve. It's time to find a new queen. I’ve been visiting this blog for a while now and I enjoy the posts about chalerm very much. However, I can’t help but feel that chalerm has been taking advantage of you for a long time. From your posts, it doesn’t seem like he has any feelings for you. He seems to see you as his ticket to the easy life. At least that is what I get from your postings on this blog. Maybe its time to let go of chalerm. I know you feel attached to him. But don’t let him use you. There are others out there who’ll give you the attention you deserve. It’s time to find a new queen.

]]> by: Jae http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42650 Sat, 17 May 2008 11:13:30 +0000 http://gayboythailand.com/bangkok-thailand/boyfriend-exit/#comment-42650 I come back from a visit to Thailand myself to hear this. I'm sorry for you both and hope it works out in a way that satisfies you both. From the little I've seen of the farang/thai relationship dynamic you have done well to keep it going so long so obviously it's worth sorting out, if you can sort it out. I come back from a visit to Thailand myself to hear this. I’m sorry for you both and hope it works out in a way that satisfies you both. From the little I’ve seen of the farang/thai relationship dynamic you have done well to keep it going so long so obviously it’s worth sorting out, if you can sort it out.

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