Gay Boy Thailand

Now that I had found a way to deal with granny, basically viewing the silent old village woman as a part of the furniture, she starts complaining that I ignore her.

Today the Noodle Girl came here, and unlike granny and cousin When Ms Noodle does speak to me. She asked me in Thai about my trip to Borneo, and I showed her pictures. Granny must have noticed this.

Later, I was in the guest bedroom helping Chalerm to look for his digital camera when granny came in. I left. There were two others in the room at the time and I felt it was getting crowded. Granny wondered aloud why I didn’t stay to “visit”, but I partly left to make room for her. The room has only two chairs and a bed.

Chalerm teased me in front of the others. He had a curling iron and invited me to sit down by the mirror while he did my hair - in a female style, presumably. - No way, I said.

Chalerm says granny is concerned I don’t like to have her here. Ahem…. I never invited her, did I? I tolerate her. I accept her. I am not kicking her out but I am not begging her to stay either.

Chalerm says I must socialise with granny. How bizarre. In the beginning of her visits to us my complaint was that she ignored me completely, including when I tried to speak to her or just say hello. I thought that was rude, but I got used to it and decided to ignore her in return. Now that is wrong too.
- But granny doesn’t speak to me, I said.
- You must speak first, said Chalerm. - She is high and you is low.
The high and low he talks about is the Thai family culture. Granny is the supreme matriarch. I must respect her.

I like granny. The woman has integrity. I am glad she took care of Chalerm the unwanted baby. So I don’t have to fake that I am OK with her, but what else am I supposed to do? Serve her tea and cookies?

It is a strain to have her in the apartment 24 hours a day. I am never alone anymore, and I can’t be alone with Chalerm either. Granny never leaves, and the same goes for cousin When, although When bravely went with Chalerm to the 7-Eleven the other day. But she was back within five minutes.

Cousin When spends her days sleeping and watching music videos on TV while waiting for a job to drop out of the sky and into her lap.

Meanwhile the small digital camera is nowhere to be found. I find it suspicious that the last time Chalerm used it was when he was with One last weekend. One is a certified thief. But Chalerm insists the camera was in his bag when he came back to our apartment.

The camera is tiny and easy to steal. But only Chalerm, granny, When and the maid have been here this week. The maid wasn’t here on Monday, the day Chalerm came back early in the morning with his bag. I don’t suspect her anyway, she is not the type (although one never knows…)

Is there a book called “101 Easy Conversations To Have With Your Thai Grandmother-in-law”?