Chalerm was upcountry last weekend to meet his friend One. I try to keep Chalerm away from One. One used to work in the office, in the job Chalerm has now, but he is bad news.
Farang D says One is the most screwed-up Thai boy he has met. And he has met a few.
One left his job in great haste last year when a couple of goons came and wanted a little talk about money he owed the loan sharks. Luckily for One’s knee caps he was out when they came. But knowing not to stretch his luck, One fled Bangkok and has not been seen since.
One then made more friends in a certain tourist beach destination where he tried various business schemes. He had to flee from that place too, and is currently hiding with relatives in a village.
One is a certified gambler, liar and thief, full of personal problems. He complains his life is a mess. It certainly is.
I think of granny and cousin When as my neighbours. I just say hello to them in the corridor (ie the living room) when I see them. On the plus side, they are polite and quiet, and turn down the TV if I need to work on the computer.
Cousin When also scored points by doing my laundry the other day. I hope this will happen again as it saves me money.
Chalerm has volunteered to do house cleaning and laundry several times. He starts with great enthusiasm but after a few weeks I have nothing clean to wear. I keep reminding him that for a supposed woman in a male body he doesn’t seem to have the housework gene.
I told a farang friend in Chang Mai I now had two candidates if I wanted to marry a Thai woman for residency purposes. Both live with me so it would not even be cheating. One is 74 and one is 18. Which one would he choose?
- Take the 74 year old one, said the farang. - She will think every time is her last and give it everything she got.