Pinoy
I have met a number of Filipinos in Malaysia. I discovered a “Little Manila” area across from my hotel and that some of the people I had assumed were Malay were in fact Filipino, often illegal immigrants. This allows me to speculate about gay Filipinos without ever having been to the Philippines.
There are no gay Filipinos. They are all straight in front of the others, but when talking to them one on one some show gay tendences. (Hush!)
Even if none of them are gay, I get them impression that many or most of them have had h*mose*ual experiences. To them this is just “play”, like it is to Thais.
The baklas (ladyboys) have a niche in society as ladies of the 2nd category, but they are looked down on. They keep to themselves and are happy when I give them attention. Some of the pretty ones work the Malaysian night trade, while others work in restaurants.
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Filipinos have a macho thing which reminds me of Latino culture. To be gay is to be on the receptive end of the hanky panky, which is un-manly, they think.
As friendly and easy-going as these pinoys in Malaysia are, I get the feeling that aggression or violence is lurking under the surface in their community. A fair number of the males look like bad apples I would not like to be alone with in a dark side street.
If I say I am gay the Filipinos seem to assume I am a sissy bottom who would be delighted if I could get a Rough Trade straight guy to bonk me. Consequently they have offered me such guys, ugly and muscular and with tattoos, and they don’t understand why I am not interested.
According to Farang N, who has spent some time in the Philippines, I should make it clear that I am “straight”, and that I am a straight guy who likes cute young men. This will make sense to the Filipinos.
Tags: gay Philippines, Malaysia
April 24th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Yep, it’s the “I’m not gay but my boyfriend is” syndrome.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:38 am
HI. Im a filipino that reads your site. I must say you have a correct observation about Filiino Gays. Though it seems like its already “accepted” by the society, most gays/bi men and women are still taboo on the gay culture and they tend to bring it with then even if the country is already open about gay issues…
April 24th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Your thoughts match my knowledge.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Having spent a few months island hopping in the Philippines I agree with your observations, but some of them a very good looking, a lot of fun and really soft when you get to know them.
But I couldn’t eat more than two.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Good looking? Oh yes. Many of them are gorgeous.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
As someone who has studied the gay scene in the Philippines very intimately, your observations on the contrast between the machismo latin tendencies and gay tendencies do indeed often cause a lot of hand-wringing (let alone other wringing). However, I think it is fair to say that in the best circles the term “bakla” (or “bading) can be used for gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, cross-dressers and others – in other words the whole ball of wax – and not only ladyboys.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Even here in Oz, a Filipino boy is always very macho…my current obsession is a Pinoy boy, who trains @ my Boxing club…I spar with him often and absolutely ADORE him, but have no clue as to how to move things to a more initmate level… I would welcome any advice from a Pinoy reader…
April 27th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
it’s more respectable to be labeled “bisexual” rather than gay. while the western definition of bisexual denotes a sexual preference for both men and women, in the philippines, bisexual seems to refer more to a demeanor. most hunky, goodlooking guys will not call themselves gay but rather “bisexual” if their mannerisms are not effeminate. on a Philippine dating site, I, for example, would not label myself Gay but rather Bisexual.
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I am just back from 5 weeks in the Philippines; meeting several old friends and new chat buddies. I guess I am on a mission to convey to my Pinoy Friends that GAY in the US does not mean EFFEMINATE. I finally gave up; I just became a MACHO GAY!!!
Only one of my friends could not get into SEX. And he was the most caring. After two days we talked. He said I was his Father and he just could not have sex with his Father. I said, OK and Good Bye. AHHH MEN…
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
i agree with all of u..with regards to the observations..
as compared to other gay culture scene in southeast asia…the pinoy gay scene is one colorfull scene…
May 20th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
koboy, you have to get him drunk and then that’s when you make your move (but ONLY IF YOU’RE SURE HE’S GAY!!!!!!!!!), because if you come on to him when he’s not, he’ll punch you, i swear
May 20th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
as far as machismo culture, if you look at latin america, it has the same exact mechanisms of gay culture as the philippines, because of the colonization of the philippines by the spaniards for 300 years
in machismo in philippines and latin america, only the receptive person is gay, the one on top is still a “man”
except nobody realizes it because the philippines is in asia, but they don’t see the latin culture, but this is a prime example of it’s influence
also, there is no such thing as a filipino race, the brown-skinned filipinos ARE malay, of malay descent, those who have lighter skin and/or more european features are MALAY + Spanish or Chinese blood. there is often a lot of confusion about this, but it’s understandable