15. Peter and Mark 4
Peter became a priest. Mark didn’t have the patience for seven years of religious study. Halfway through, Mark took a break from the seminary and never returned.
Peter remained in his closet for 20 years. One of the few pleasures he allowed himself was to watch male sports on television, in particular swimming and diving. Peter’s favourite parts were before the athletes hit the water and when they came out of it again. He didn’t care who won.
Father Peter was a devoted priest. He exhausted himself helping people, there were always someone who wanted to speak to the Father and shift their worries to his shoulders. At times Peter felt invisible, as if he was just a frock with no person inside. It was always about someone else, not about him.
Peter grew tired of his work. He became disillusioned, not with his Lord but with the men who claimed to represent him. Gossip, infighting and intrigue were common in the church. Peter became aware that many were hypocrites. Some priests had lovers on the side. Some had boyfriends. Even worse, a few spent too much time with their altar boys and choir kids. To Peter this was unacceptable. If they had given a vow they should keep it. And they could not preach one thing in the morning and do the opposite in the afternoon.
Peter’s first disappointment with the Vatican came when his church refused to support condoms to halt Aids and recommended monogamy instead. Peter felt this position was unrealistic and dogmatic and that it would cost many people their lives. It was the first issue that made him question the wisdom of his leaders, but not the last.
Peter hit a mid-life crisis. He wondered if he made the right choice. The growing gay presence in the media influenced him. When he was young homosexuality was not spoken about, or only in negative terms. Now it was commonplace and accepted, at least in some circles. Peter began to wonder if his celibacy was worth it.
Peter applied for a sabbatical to study and travel in Asia. He went to the Philippines, Indonesia and Vietnam. When he came to Thailand he decided to stay.
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