40. Duff leaving
One day later Duff had a new nickname for Bia, The Beauty. Bia was good looking in that soft boyish and pleasant way Duff liked his Thai boys. I don’t want this to end, thought Duff. I want to lay here in bed with The Beauty forever. I want to see his pretty face next to me, sometimes under me or even above me, but always near me.
Lanna boys, the ones from northern Thailand, were Duff’s favourites. Lanna boys spoke Thai slower and even when they spoke English their northern accent and rhythm was detectable. They were more graceful, shyer, more charming, thought Duff. Thais always counted the northern women as the best looking in the country. Duff believed the same was true for the boys.
- I have to go home to England tomorrow, said Duff.
- Why? said Bia with a sad face.
- My holiday is over. I have to go home to my job.
- Never mind, said Bia. You can stay Thailand. I take care you.
- He he that’s kind of you but I don’t think that would work, said Duff. Sorry, I have to return to England. Will you forget me when I go home?
- Not forget. When you come back?
- Next year. Or maybe sooner. I am not sure. I wish I could live here.
- You can, said Bia. You can have job Bangkok.
- It is complicated, said Duff. But I am thinking about moving here. I wish it were possible.
Bia and Duff spent the next 24 hours together with the intensity that came from knowing they soon had to part. They gave each other pictures. Duff gave Bia a passport photo. Bia put it in his wallet and gave Duff a portrait in a formal student outfit. When Duff went to the airport Bia went with him. They held hands in the taxi. Bia was too shy to kiss Duff in the departure area but said he would wait for him to return. Duff promised to email Bia every day.
Duff always left Thailand reluctantly. What made Thailand so addictive? It wasn’t just the boys. Thailand had something in the air, a feeling of not to worry, a feeling of freedom and adventure. In Thailand you never knew what would happen next. Maybe something or someone wonderful would be around the corner. And in Thailand Duff felt he was well off and a person of some status. In England he was a nobody. In Thailand the boys chased Duff, in England they already called him a dinosaur, a dirty old man. Date men your own age, the young ones said.
Duff dreaded the cramped conditions in economy class. He felt he sat with his knees in his face. At least he had a window seat so he could lean against the side of the aircraft and sleep. Duff looked out the window. The plane departed after midnight and Bangkok’s highways and buildings formed a pattern of pearly lights as the plane ascended. Duff saw the river, the bridges and the dense area around Silom and Sukhumvit. The Beauty is down there somewhere, thought Duff, and despaired at the thought of waiting a year to see him again.
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