49. Larson does Pattaya
Larson sat in a shabby bar in Sunnee Plaza and talked to the mamasan.
- Let me see if I got this right, said Larson. If a guy comes over to my table I have to pay him for watching?
- Is up to you, said mamasan.
- Where exactly does it go?
- Have empty glass beer.
- I see. And what about that contest?
- Is on stage. Customer pay money. Boy finish first win.
Larson gave 100 baht to the contest fund. The mamasan collected a total of 500 baht and put it in an empty beer glass in front of the contestants. There were four of them. They did their best and the quickest guy got applause and the money.
For recovery reasons the winner was not among the boys who went around the bar to offer their private performances. One boy came to Larson and he was interested in seeing how this worked. The boy started but Larson thought he used quite a long time. And what he produced in the glass wasn’t much. Larson suspected the boy had done it several times already that day and was running dry. Still, Larson gave the boy 200 baht for the effort.
Another guy came and grabbed Larson’s leg. The boys in this smutty bar were rough types and what the guy did to Larson’s leg was more assault than massage. Larson waved to a waiter to get the bill. This had been fun but everything with moderation.
Larson had a beer or a drink in every bar he went to and was getting tipsy. Next was a bar where Bjorn had said Larson should only look and not touch. The place was quite small but packed with boys and customers. It seemed to be the most popular bar of all. The reason for this success was the selection. None of the boys were over 20. They were teenagers and reminded Larson of the boys in his school.
Larson sat down and had another drink. I am not getting drunk, thought Larson. But I am getting happy.
A ladyboy mamasan sat down with Larson. Larson was still a Thailand freshie. He thought any Thai person with long hair and breasts was a woman. He had not yet learned to tell the second gender from the third. Funny this, thought Larson. Why do they employ female mamasans in a gay bar?
Larson looked at the boys. Some of them were too small and boney for his taste. Yikes! Can they please let them finish puberty before they pimp them, thought Larson. But some of the others were tempting. Larson saw pretty faces and a glow of testosterone. Cute teenage jailbait.
- What boy you lie? asked mamasan.
- One more drink please, said Larson.
- You lie him? Or him? Or him?
- I lookie lookie no touchy touchy, said Larson.
- You lie number 5? Him 16. Him good boy you.
- 16? Is that legal?
- No ploblem police. What is hotel you?
- Horny… um… sorry… Honey Lodge.
- Can not go. But we have loom upstair. Only thlee hundled baht.
- No bonky bonky for me. I want pee pee. And I go walkie walkie.
Larson rose unsteadily. The mamasan came with the bill and Larson paid and left. I am not drunk, thought Larson. I am merely merry. Merry merely. Hahaha! Left foot forward. Right foot forward. This is going fine. Feet, take me to Horny Lodge.
But when his feet arrived at the hotel they decided Larson’s intoxicated brain could use some fresh air and continued past Cafe Berlin and the gold shop and down to the beach promenade. Larson walked under the palm trees and said hello in Swedish to the hookers that were standing in the shadows.
Oh! thought Larson. Amazon woman ahead. Hey lady, you are taller than I am. Where did you get those broad shoulders? Are the tits real? No, I don’t want you. Why not? What do you mean why not? You are the ugliest woman I have seen. Oops. Did I say that aloud? Hey lady, you can’t….
Pattaya began spinning wildly and then the city suddenly went dark and quiet.
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