79. Gratitude
Larson told himself that he didn’t expect anything back for helping Lek and Noi but this wasn’t true. Larson had expected something, if not throw-himself-to-the-ground gratitude then at least a happy face or perhaps that Lek would open up and come closer to him. Larson had not expected the opposite to happen.
When Larson gave Lek the pile of 1000 baht bills the boy needed to pay off the loan sharks Lek’s reaction was anything but happy. Lek didn’t say thank you, he didn’t smile, instead he turned stiff and distant. Lek took the money and left.
When the boy came back he was no better. It was as if Lek resented Larson’s money. Larson had made it clear that doling out money like this would not be a habit; it was a one-off to straigthen up Lek and Noi’s lives. Larson also made it clear that there would be no trip to Germany now that the problem was solved. Lek accepted this. But the Lek’s counter-intuitive reaction puzzled Larson.
- Thai boys, said Larson on the phone with Bjorn. Who can understand them? Here I help Lek out of a deep hole and all I get is negative vibes.
- Ah, said Bjorn. You gave him too much. He feels you are trying to trap him.
- Trap him?
- Trap him with bonds of gratitude.
- I don’t get it. Do they want our money or do they not?
- They want it. But here is the contradictory nature of Thais. When a Thai receives a large gift such as this, they think the giver is up to something.
- And what would that something be?
- According to Thai culture Lek will be bound by lifelong gratitude to you since you saved him and his brother. Lek doesn’t like that. He thinks you will entrap him. He thinks he is losing his freedom.
- So it isn’t simply that he thinks I am a fool to give him that much money?
- Maybe he thinks that too but that isn’t his main concern.
- I read about the patron-client relationship in Thai culture, said Larson. Can they make up their mind? Do they want a benefactor or not?
- Thais love a rich uncle, said Bjorn. But Thai patrons like to remind their clients how indebted the clients are to them. Thai parents, for example, go on and on about how the children owe them for life and for everything the parents have given them since birth. The parents say this to make the children feel they have to obey their parents to the point of self-sacrifice. Anything to keep money flowing from the young to the elders.
- I guess I can’t win, said Larson.
- You can’t, said Bjorn. I told you that there would be no gratitude. I have given up on you, my pal. I leave you to make your own mistakes. Everyone who comes to Thailand has to go through the same. The learning curve is steep. Only when you had your fingers burned a few times will you understand how this country works.
- My fingers are black already and smoke is rising from them, said Larson.
- Don’t speak too soon, said Bjorn. There is more to come.
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