Gay Boy Thailand

I went out to explore the nighlife while Chalerm was sleeping.

How to get your name on a bar in Phuket? Be a bush bandit in Australia. Remain dead for a century. Then Australians in Patong will open a “Ned Kelly’s Bar” in your honour.

Ned Kelly rests near Soi Crocodile, which has ladyboys. They are a hard lot. A bouncer stands at the entrance to make sure nobody takes “free” photos of the ladyboys who are dancing on a small stage. They want to pose for cash only.

Later I asked three different ladyboys who were soliciting in the walking street if I could take their photo. They all said yes, but photos were possible only after we had gone to my hotel room. No deal. I was reduced to taking sneak photos from behind corners.

Soi Paradise, the gay street, was quiet. My Way bar, which is bigger and fancier than the one in Bangkok, had a show. The boys dressed in transparent raincoats and sang “It’s raining men”. The ladyboys did “Born to be a woman”.

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The weather was good and the green flags were up. Chalerm went to swim. I was better at impersonating a beached whale.

Why are there so many Indian street vendors here? They are a pain in the rear. Their English is too good and they say things like “Here you come again. You don’t look right and you don’t look left. You only look straight ahead. Why?”. It is clever. They want to provoke me into saying something, anything at all. If they can make contact, even if it is an argument, they think they can get to sell something at the end of it.

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“Manila Machine” is a Philippino band playing cover songs by Beach Road. They are seriously good. They made Japanese tourists dance. The Japanese formed a chain to snake around the restaurant. What do you call that? The snake-dance?

Many of the farang tourists here are still mentally in Farangland. They watch and give me judgemental looks. They seem to think I am part of their jurisdiction. The anything-goes attitude of Pattaya doesn’t apply in Phuket. I don’t see any farang males walk around hand-in-hand with their Thai boys.

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What to think of Patong after the first 24 hours? It is an anti-climax. Is this the world-famous paradise island? It is nice here, but for someone who lives in Thailand already there is nothing new.

The gay scene can’t compare with Bangkok or Pattaya. The prices are high. The locals are OK but the pushy attitude that marks every tourist destination in Thailand is here too. After a hundred touts they start to get on my nerves.

In Pattaya the drivers honk for passengers. Here they stand along the street saying “tuk-tuk’?

The beach is nice. The sand is white and fine-grained. Renting a chair is only four times more expensive than in Pattaya. But I survived it even at 80 baht.

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I met a group of over-the-hill hookers by Beach Road at midnight. They were women in their 40s. I thought they were too old to be on the market, but they did their best with any passing male.

I sat down and spoke to one of them. She had been around. She had been to my home town in Farangland, where her sister lived. She gave me enough detail to make it believable.

How could this woman make a living? She had her age against her, and her weight, and her face, and the mole on her nose didn’t help either. How could she compete?

They say self-confidence is half the trick. She certainly thought she was competitive and she was disappointed when I told her I liked gentlemen.

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Chalerm has been an angel on this trip. It is almost too good to be true. Saturday night he met up with some friends from Rainbow Sky, the gay group. They have a chapter here. Chalerm is a minor celebrity in those circles after taking on the Thai army for discrimination.

Latest update. A massage girl outside the Internet cafe pokes her tongue at me. When I arrived she hoped I was going to her establishment rather than the Internet place. Don’t they have a gaydar? I don’t tongue her back. I try to maintain my dignity.

Chalerm just sent me a text message saying he and the friends from the organisation are in a “guy bar”. I bet they are watching muscle boys.