I missed Chalerm. I took out the pictures I had taken of him in the park and the first time we went to Anyburi by bus. The pictures made me miss him even more. He looked so sincere in those pictures. He was not a sophisticated city type, he was a country boy and it showed in his dress and his unpretentious manners.
I missed his soft skin. Chalerm smelled good. Thai boys don’t smell much, but what little odour they have is pleasant. I even missed his cheeky tricks. He liked to blow air in my ear. I could not remain still in bed when he did that. He liked to tickle me too. But that didn’t work anymore. I was too used to him. Try tickling yourself. You can’t. That’s because you are relaxed. I was so relaxed with Chalerm now that he couldn’t tickle me either.
He was a real Thai boy and genuine. Such boys are not easy to find. How did I find him? Wrong question - he found me. I had only lived in Thailand for six days when I met him. Was that random or fate? I had to wonder.
You sentimental fool, I told myself. He is just a boy. What makes you think he is ready for a long-term relationship? You are ready, but you are middle aged. What if it was just a fling, a way for him to have an exciting time with a foreigner for a few months while he was in Bangkok? You can’t expect a youngster like him to be stable, even in the unlikely case that he is interested in someone your age.
I called Chalerm every day on his mobile. But either it was turned off or nobody answered. After a week of this I thought I had to be tactical. As long as he saw I rang every day he could be confident I was waiting for him. Hard as it was to resist, it was better not to call. That would make him think.
After two weeks of not hearing from him I was beginning to think he would not be back. A friend urged me to seek other entertainment.
- You should go out and be decadent, said my friend. - Get some boy from Dj Station. Bonk him. Live a little!
- A boy off the street isn’t the same as Chalerm. I am still attuned to him. Besides, it would feel like cheating. Chalerm is too nice. I can’t cheat on him.
- Nice? He is putting you through hell for no reason.
- I know. But it would still hurt Chalerm terribly if I fooled around with someone else. I can’t do that to him.
- Sure you can.
- He is immature. He doesn’t see the consequences of what he is doing. I have to be the responsible adult even if he doesn’t deserve it.
- How long will you sit in your monastery and wait for him?
- I guess I have to give up after a while. If I haven’t heard from him in three weeks I will consider myself a free man.
One should think that Chalerm had overheard this conversation. After two weeks and six days of silence he rang my doorbell. He said nothing but walked sternly past me. He went to the bedroom and collected his things. Then he walked out, still without a word, and slammed the door behind him.
If that’s how he wants it, I thought and locked the door in a loud way and put the chain on. I made sure Chalerm could hear it from the corridor.
Tags: gay boy, gay Thailand
June 26th, 2006 at 8:25 am
Such a sad situation. For both you and Chalerm.
But it comes out OK, doesn’t it???
So I will read on…
June 26th, 2006 at 9:04 am
It shall all be revealed
September 16th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
Ok! You got me hooked! As a soon to be “expat” with many stories of my own I have to know more of this story!!! Don’t make me “ting-tong”!
September 17th, 2006 at 12:23 am
I will see if I can post more of it soon.
February 4th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Be patient!
February 7th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
It took me about 3 hours to read this and your stories was sad and you are a real patient man. Chalerm was just not mature yet. and he doesnt know what is right and what is wrong totally yet. i would love to see you and him live happy ever after. i wouldnt want to comment much on this, but to me i think you should talk to him and not make him become bossy or else it would be a habit to him and you will face more difficulties later on. More importantly, if something happen to him when he got mad and walk out of the house and not knowing where he is, you might get hurt emotionally and you would regret. DONT let me be..
Good Luck
July 20th, 2007 at 8:35 am
My dear SF.
because I have seen these expats sooooo often. LOL. I just haven’t figured out which one I am.
I am with Richard. More of your adventures with Chalerm please. I need to understand how to handle my bf if/when we get to the walk-out stage .
While I am quite new to GBT, I have been visiting Thailand for many years now and your insightful writings ring many bells for me.
I have also read every page in the BKK novel (often with dread
I have rented a 1BR apartment in Klongtonsai and installed the bf there. Like Chalerm, he is in a 7K B job and cannot make ends meet. So I see many parallels.
With you being resident and me a 2-3 time a year visitor, I am keen to understand the Thai way of thinking. Your writings help no end.
Thanks and best wishes, Yraen.
September 28th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
I have spent 3 hours here to read your story but i am sorry that it’s not a happy ending story. I just got out from a hospital here and I have nothing to do so I just used a google search about the story and i have found your website and I think it’s interesting. I am so sorry about your love story but I will wait to read your story again and i hope that next time will be happy ending story na krap.
Good night
Ronan
January 19th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
ahh your story is totally addicting. i definitely want to find out what happened ! best of luck to both of you
January 19th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
wow, i really want to hear what happens next, it is such an interesting and heartfelt story… but i see the last chapter was written 2.5 years ago… so there is not much chance we will be able to read more?
at least we know it ends happily… because of your blog posting about him
April 26th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Addictive. But what happened? Did he come back?!
June 25th, 2008 at 8:06 am
A very moving story, I’d like to say that i hope the pair of you work things out in time (despite it being written over 2 years ago) but i think by him walking out of your life with no explanation was probably the best thing that could of happened, given your total expense and commitment to Chalerm (and i mean that in the nicest possible way). I spent only 3 weeks in Bangkok and Pattaya last summer, and from that short experience i gained a good insight of modern Thai culture especially coming from a completely westernized background. The rules and regulations of relationships from one side of the world to another are amazingly different! From a personal level tho, i admire your episodes of real honesty even when sometimes it seems you may be thinking you weren’t 100% sure where it was going but excepting it somewhat curiously…
Like everybody else, I’d like to hear some more if you’re willing…
Regards
Ben
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
today is the 2nd day of hari raya (the so called malaysia’s malay new year) and i am working part time in a magazine shop. the shop was very quiet and i am able to read your stories with charlem. it took me 2 hours to finished your writtings.
the stories were very touching. maybe this is the reason why thaiboy prefers mature farangs. you handle your relationship well but charlem didn’t seem to appreciate you.
according to your story climax, charlem was too excited when he firstly met you in the park. he was so pampered and protected until behaved bossy to you. it was really a pathetic situation when the one you pampered behaved bossily.
however, whatever past is past. you need to somehow look forward and you definately deserve a better one.
how i hope i could read your post earlier and meet you when you were in malaysia. take care and good luck to you.
regards,
william