South East Asia
Here is an update about the boys in Malaysia:
The Dramatic Ladyboy called me at 5am this morning. The phone rang only once and I guess I was supposed to call him back. But I didn’t. Can he call at some less ungodly hour please? Last time I saw him he was in the park with some other locals. He was dressed as a male.
The bakla (Filipino ladyboy) is in cahoots with Waffle Boy, who sleeps in her room sometimes “because it is so far to go home”. The bakla was surprised that I knew Waffle Boy and inquired about how and why. A hint of jealousy?
The rough MB from the park is in cahoots with the Dramatic Ladyboy, and gave him a kiss on the cheek as I watched. Is everyone fooling around with everyone else in this country?
I found an embroidery shop. This may surprise you but I think all the boys who work there are gay.
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I never hear the gay word in Malaysia. The gay boys talk about “my friend” when they mean boyfriends. “I like him” is code for “I fancy him”. Even the sissiest ones talk about when they are going to marry a girl and settle down and raise a family.
I get many questions about why I am alone. The locals consider it tragic to be alone. Where are my friends? Where is my family? If I say I have a wife in Bangkok (ie Chalerm) they ask why the wife is not with me on the trip, and why we have no children. It is unheard of for a man my age to be childless.
Teenage girls ask me if I want to marry them and take them to America. The dowry is 10,000 ringit, I hear. A Muslim restaurant waiter who is part time rental told me that tradition dictated that a man should marry by age 22. He was saving up for it. At 23 he was already running late.
They make me feel there is something wrong with me since I don’t have a family. Maybe I should take their advice, marry a girl, convert to Islam and have 64 grandchildren. Is there a way to skip the children and go right to the grandchildren phase?
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There is an unspoken social contract regarding gay affairs here. Society pretends not to see that boys and men have their fun together, but on one condition: they must marry a girl and keep the clan going. To live with someone of your own gender is not a substitute.
Unmarried youths have their fun in the waiting period before they start a family. This is more or less accepted. When they are married the men may become sugardaddies for younger men, but only if they keep the wife and kids happy as well.
The gay scene here has a touch of camaraderie and fun, you might call it male friendships with a bit of bedtime pleasure thrown in. Compared to Thailand there is something innocent about it. The scene is not as well organised as it is in Thailand and there is less pressure. Officially there is no gay scene in Malaysia, remember? You have to find the boys by yourself.
Tag: gay Malaysia
xxx
May 31st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Very good stuff. Please give us any and all of your observations about Malaysia. You have no idea how interesting ANY of it is for those of us “back home”.
Thanks for what you do.
May 31st, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I wonder how many countries have a word for calling somebody once and hanging up to save money. In the Philippines they call it dropping. In England we dont have a word for it.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:51 pm
If it’s on a cellphone, I think it’s called a ‘missed call’. That’s what Thais call it, borrowing the English.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Isn’t that a “call-me-back-call?”
Your descriptions of Malaysia sound very much like Tunisia…make me a bit homesick for my youth!
Of course, Tunisians are more fun-loving and there is less of the pressure to get married…and about eighty percent of the younger unmarried males are in the scene or very aware of it.
Iran was very similar, except for the bleeping xenophobia.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Hi SF.
Your observations about Malay (Muslim) Malaysians are very close to the mark. Esp the close afinity with the Thai ’sanuk’. I have been seduced into vigorous sex by the (then) bf while his two Uni mates were ’sleeping’ in the other bed.
Chinese Malaysians (Buddhist or Christian) are much more aligned with western thinking about things-gay. And they tend to be more ’serious’ about their gay hookups and/or friendships. There is also little thought towards baby-making, no matter how ‘disappointed’ the family may be.
Both attitudes have their strengths and weaknesses.
Have a good time in Malaysia.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:52 pm
True, I should made clear that what I wrote above was based on Malay/Muslim culture. The Chinese are different and can be gay in the Western sense of the word. I don’t know about the Indians. They are never gay (?) but they have ladyboys…
May 31st, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Everyone I know here in England call it “Drop calling”.
I love all these little insights keep it up.
June 1st, 2008 at 2:42 am
>There is an unspoken social contract regarding gay affairs here. Society pretends not to see that boys and men have their fun together, but on one condition: they must marry a girl and keep the clan going. To live with someone of your own gender is not a substitute.
That is an Asian culture which is much less stigmatic than western culture for people who practices same sex love.
I hope you respect this Asian culture which is much more practical than Western Gay liberation thinking that divides clearly gay and straight people and forbids “straight people” engaging this fun of same sex love.
June 1st, 2008 at 2:47 am
My chinese (malaysian) bf is scared to death someone may find out he’s gay. He’s well stuck in the closet.
How nice it must be to be part of a relaxed gay scene such as the malay/tunisian/iranian way of life described above.
June 1st, 2008 at 3:38 am
A missed call is when somebody rings for a while, not deliberatly rings only once or twice before you can answer just to save money.
I was just wondering how many countries have a one word word for it.
June 1st, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Dear me. Did I miss something ?
The KL Punjabi I met in my home town and have stayed in contact with for years is very definitely gay … no bones about it at all.
Right down to shaving his whole body before venturing out on the town.
(And so were/did his two buddies.)
I take it that ‘Sybil’ is Malay also ?
Cheers.
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:48 am
Yraen has Malaysia bang-on correct. And WooHoo is precisely describing my situation too, annoying as it is, I wouldn’t swap it (or him) for the world.
Its a strange place to be sure but quite delightfully innocent too.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
As I said above, in Thai a ‘missed call’ is when someone deliberately hangs up after just one or two rings, in the hope the person he is calling will pay for a return call.
The caller’s number appears on the cellphone of the person he wants to call back.
Some providers here even send a free message on behalf of a caller, if he doesn’t have money.
The message gets sent in place of the missed call, and achieves the same thing. It says so-and-so is thinking of you, and would like you to call.
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:42 pm
To all the readers of gayboythailand.com,
As a chinese living in malaysia for the past 27 years, the community here still couldn’t accept homosexuals. Malaysia is an Islamic country and homosexual is illegal in Malaysia. 10 years ago our Deputy Prime Minister was sentenced to 5 years jail due to a sodomized case.
Now you understand why some people are so frighten when others realized his sexual orientation. When your family and colleagues realized you are gay, they will discriminate you and you will no longer stay in their clan or group.
However, there are some exception in chinese community. Chinese parents are often conservative but some are willing to accept their son is actually their daughter haha
I worked in a chinese owned company where all my colleagues are ladies and they accept me as gay. We were very close. My only problem is my parents don’t accept me lol
Indians community has gays as well. Both Malays and Chinese don’t really like Indians. I have no idea what is their reason but my reason is because of their body odour and they are really as rude as barbarians.
In Malaysia, the words GAY and HOMOSEXUAL are VERY SENSITIVE. We use the alphabet ‘P’ to describe ourselves. P actually comes from PLU “People Like Us” which means gay. SF is right, we will not tell others that “I love my bf” but would rather say “I like my friend”
The gay life in Bangkok is totally different and i miss the country so much. I dare to admit i am gay there without any hesitation. how is wish i could migrate there with my bf after we retired…
October 26th, 2008 at 11:59 am
hai everyone,i’m malay in my 30+,actually there’s a lot of gays in malaysia…only things is they dont want to exposed themselves to public…..lets say hidden,censored,etc…as william says above…scary world….he..he..he…find it and you will enjoy it…but keep it in secret and covered…