Gay Boy Thailand

A reader asked me by email if, knowing what I know now, would have moved to Thailand again.

I said yes, I would have done it again.

I have lost some of my enthusiasm for Thailand, partly thanks to immigration problems, partly because Thailand is changing and isn’t as fun as it used to be, and partly due to the familiarity and fading which sets in after a while even in Bangkok.

These days I look forward to my trips out of Thailand. I live with one foot in Malaysia. But that doesn’t mean I would recommend a newbie to move to Malaysia instead. Thailand is beginner-friendly, with a large farang gay scene. It is easy to set up camp in Thailand.

Thailand is love at first sight. Malaysia is an acquired taste. You might choose differently when you have lived in Asia for some years.

I don’t regret moving to Thailand. Life here isn’t perfect but I was miserable in Farangland. I sat around with other aging queens, complaining about isolation and boredom and the weather and about how we could not get laid anymore.

Thailand has been an adventure. I am happier here than I was back home. There are many ups and downs but I guess it is called living.

I don’t regret taking in Chalerm from the park. It became more parenting than I had expected but the boy is a good girl and even if it didn’t turn out quite like I had expected (it never does) I would have done the same again.

You should be aware that it takes a certain mental strength to live in a faraway country with a radically different culture, away from your family, old friends and the welfare system.

You need to keep your brain healthy. You must avoid “the rot” which some ex-pats in Thailand talk about, which has to do with a lack of challenges and the shallowness of local life, which can lead to a stagnated personality. Too many ex-pats fall into alcoholism or passivity and depression after a while in Thailand.

You are a Westerner. You must think. Stillness of the mind is for Thais. You must keep moving forward and developing, or you are in trouble. Sitting all day staring at the wall, like Chalerm’s grandmother was happy to do, isn’t for us. So you need hobbies, interests, projects, things to do. Keep yourself busy. Sitting glued to a bar stool every day isn’t being busy.

Do learn as much as you can about Thai culture and history. It will help you understand the strange things that happen to you.

Don’t bring your money into Thailand. Keep it in Farangland.

Don’t buy a home. Rent.

Don’t trust Thai immigration or the stability of this country. Be prepared that your stay in Thailand can end suddenly, for whatever reason.