Gay Boy Thailand

Dark colour represents more people

This is a population density map of South-East Asia. There are some five hundred million people here, in eleven countries. With this broad selection, why did I choose Malaysia as my visa escape destination?

I have been to the following countries on this map: Singapore, Laos, Cambodia and Malaysia and Thailand. I have not yet been to the Philippines, Indonesia, Brunei, Burma, Vietnam or East Timor.

Maybe there are wonderful places I don’t know about. But when I chose a destination to run away from Thai Immigration I build on what I know. This was how I came to Thailand too, after visiting Thailand many times, getting to know the place gradually, reading about Thai culture and society and finally deciding I wanted to live in Bangkok.

To take on a new country comes with a cost. It involves a culture shock. At first I don’t know how things work or how to get around. I spend too much money on hotels, food and transport because I don’t know better. I don’t know the language and it is hard to leave the tourist bubble.

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Thanks to Malaysia’s generous visa regime this is the country I know best apart from Thailand. Malaysia gives 90 days on arrival, free. There isn’t even any forms to fill out. Laos and Cambodia, by comparison, give 30 days after I stand in line and hand over money. This made Malaysia my favourite place for visa runs. I get on the plane and walk right in. There are no touts at the airports and the taxis don’t try to cheat me. I then find one of the small Chinese-owned hotels that offer good value, and I am all set.

Last year, after Thai Immigration once gave me six days and two hours to leave the kingdom, I bought a Malay language course. I wanted to prepare for Plan B. Malay is easier than Thai, Khmer or Lao. If I somehow could learn basic Thai I am sure I can learn Malay too. Malay uses the Roman alphabet, the spelling is phonetic and there are no tones.

I consider it essential to learn the language of the country I am in. I know Westerners who have lived in Asia for decades and who don’t speak a word of the native language. Up to them. I want to speak to people and not just the elite who speaks good English.

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What about Malaysian anti-gay laws? I have tried to ask gay boys in Malaysia about this. For example I asked the cute Chinese Boy, the one I got cozy with in a bar last month. Chinese Boy gave me a strange look. Why did I ask about the police? Was I into drugs? He had never considered that the police could take any interest in his love life, or indeed raid the gay bar we were in.

I have had a similar reaction from other Malaysian boys I have asked, both Chinese and Malay. They don’t think the sodomy law has anything to do with them.

I once asked in the blog what the warning about “decoys” on the utopia-asia.com website was about. I could not get any clear answer but this seems to be a corrupt police sting aimed at park cruising. I show you mine, you show me yours and then you get arrested for indecency. This is the only entrapment I am aware of.

If anything seems to be easier for male-male romance than male-female romance in Malaysia. The Muslims in particular don’t want us to touch their daughters. That’s fine with me. I am more interested in their sons.

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I will go to Malaysia next week, but that doesn’t mean I am wedded to the country. After one or two weeks I will return to Bangkok. I don’t want to set up a permanent home in Malaysia. I don’t want to remain in any particular city either. I want to turn my visa trouble into an opportunity for travel. I want to explore Malaysia and then Indonesia, where the language is similar. And then there is the Philippines, Vietnam, Burma…

This could be fun.