June 28th, 2008

Jeremy Sumpter shirtless against his will

jeremy-sumpter-cyber-seduct.jpg
The dark side took him

It seems Jeremy Sumpter’s great semi-nude acting in “Cyber Seduction” wasn’t enough to save the made-for-TV movie from obscurity. But this great work of art holds many lessons for boys and men. This is what happens if you watch p**n on the Internet:

You will spend most of the movie with your shirt off
Your friends will call you p**n king and freak (while posing shirtless)
You can’t stop (at least not without w*nking first, but since you can’t do that in a movie you can’t stop at all)
Your education will do down the drain
Your sports career will go down the drain
Your mother will yell at you
Your girlfriend will abandon you (good riddance)

Watch trailer >>
Watch moralising scene with shirtless swimmer boys >>

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October 12th, 2006

Jeremy Sumpter shirtless on the beach

Jeremy Sumpter shirtless private
Celebrity stalker

Don’t you agree that celebrity stalkers are patethic? Why can’t they get a life and leave people alone?

I have my own problems with celebrity stalkers. Jeremy Sumpter is the worst.

Jeremy Sumpter stalked me on the beach. He came up to me and insisted I take his photo. Then he asked for my autograph and tried to invite himself to sleep over at my place. If this doesn’t stop I have to hire bodyguards.

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Sticky: DJ Station fire safety
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