As I can’t find where to post a communication whic is not relevant to any above subject…I’ll send it here.
I had to laugh tonight, a young Asian gentleman has been courting my interests for the last few days on a website known to most of you (it’s name is a day of the week?!)
He wants to meet me and wants a stable relationship, He IS kinda sexy, and has a job (good God)…..having done the usual email thing….sent a genuine facial photo and told him how great he looks lying on his belly, he proceeds to INSULT me.
He might like older man.
He might like “fat” man
I have berated him for his terrribly accurate assumptions and told him he should not be so rude.
HMMMMMMMMM……….I wonder, if he is only telling me what the Thai boys would tell me, given the chance?
Are we all fat, ugly, obnoxious bastards to them??????
Doesn’t matter how fat your wallet is…….I wonder what they really think? The tears and crap we go go through at the airport………when they are really saying..”see ya sucker!”
Maybe I’m being too hard on us “Farangs”….but the again………..
I would suggest trying to get past the “us” versus “them” thinking, plus trying to make statements about “all Thai” or “all farang.” Someone making a statement like “All Frenchmen are assholes” is usually in deep culture shock. There are good and bad in every country, and even in every job. Just last week, I had a bar-host repay a loan!
I would also ask you to think about something else: it is possible to be fat, and even to be ugly, without being obnoxious. Just as it is possible to be slender and alluring and treacherous.
Generalising and even stereotypes serve a purpose. If I say that Germans are interested in technoloogy it is generally true. But it doesn’t mean that all Germans are into high-tech.
Similarly, if I say that French food is more advanced than English food there might be something to it.
Certain stereotypes of Thai boys exist, including the gold-digger type. I have met a few.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I agree, SF. Human beings could hardly survive without general statements. The only objection I was raising was one which made a general statement into one about “all.” And we need to be aware of cultural differences, all the time. Just as one reverse example, my current boyfriend came to me with an almost-belief that all farang were “bad people.” Why? Because in his brief career as a bar-host, many farang had fallen madly in love with him and promised to take him to London, Berlin, Paris, etc. These guys were probably not lying. They probably had no idea of just how hard it is to get a visa for a young Thai working on 9th grade in Adult Education, and with no visible means of support. But that was one of the most urgent questions he had for me, as he put me through a very long courtship: “Why did all those men lie to me??” So I explained about the passport, first. He didn’t have one. After a couple years of gentle prodding, he finally applied for a passport, and discovered that he needed a new and different type of Thai ID card, which meant a trip home to the place he was born.
Now, he has a passport! We have been to Bangkok, and even to Phuket! Singapore is coming right up!
But, once again, put yourself in his place, and ask yourself why he thought ALL farang were bad people. We may try to excuse ourselves (”I was in love”) but we really should not make promises that we cannot keep.
July 26th, 2007 at 6:48 am
I am great at making generalizations so I am not even going to go there…
But as a “farang” who has had some great times in Thailand and who has had his heart broken more than once maybe us “farangs” could learn to quit taking everything so seriously. Maybe we could learn from the Thais the ability to enjoy the moment without looking for “intent” or “motive” or wondering about where something today will lead in the future…
I am not fat but I have had white hair since I was 22 and I am 6′10″ which means I put up with alot of gawking and giggling around Asians…but I just smile in return.
We sit here and criticize the Thai’s about their cultural traits and I remember one night in Bangkok with a group of Thai’s they cut loose and gave me their lowdown on “farangs” country by country….and you know, in a general sense, they weren’t too far off.
Life is a nothing more than the accumulation of experiences….so rather than having expectations why not just go with the flow and enjoy the experiences…even the gold diggers can be a positive experience for awhile and they cannot hurt you too badly if you don’t have your own expecatations of them
July 26th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
“Just last week, I had a bar-host repay a loan!”
He’s just setting you up.
July 26th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I wouldn’t stereotype Thai boys if only they weren’t all alike.
July 26th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
I’m sorry you all feel that Thai boys had been stereotyped.
The boy I wrote about was Chinese from Macau actually. How easy it it to jump to conclusions i know…..however I just wanted to put the record straight!
July 27th, 2007 at 9:04 am
It started with the Asian boy stereotyping you!
July 27th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
You are very right SF. I concur.
August 18th, 2007 at 4:38 am
I guess I am more fortunate than many of you guys. I helped my Thai bf’s family financially (big sum), supported him through uni (another big sum), give him a job (including that ‘job’!). I thank God everyday, a person 14 years my junior had lived with me for the last 9 years and our relationship is still going strong - at least he still tells me he loves me before bed every night!
December 12th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
A young Fridae friend, not my bf, and not Thai wrote to me:
“thank god you are not another sugar daddy offering me university fees for exchange of my virginity. you’d be amazed at the number of generous men out there…”
There is always more than one perspective.